Valerie Tanswell

My British Bucket List

2012-01-22T18:47:00.000Z

I have never been into resolutions and in fact, I haven’t ever been that great at planning! But I do like to think about what’s in my heart and what true heart’s desires I have. From there, I like to think I help the universe bring these into my life in some form. A perfect example is the fact I am living and working in the UK, which got me thinking...there are so many things I want to do but several of them are very UK specific. Therefore, I decided to compile them in one list, check them out:

1. Go to a Have I Got News for You taping – It was a badge of honour after my first couple years of living in the UK (which was in the 90’s) when I finally “got” British humour. And with that came a love a this clever, funny and always topical British TV show. A panel of comedians with an assortment of guests, headed up by a new host each week answer questions about the week in news. Sarcasm, irony and often looniness (thanks to Paul Merton) ensues. Twice a year I set my calendar a reminder for the exact moment tickets become available and register online. So far unsuccessful, I hope one day I manage to see this show taped at the BBC studios in London.
Likelihood of achievement: fair (with continued diligence and a bit of good luck).

2. A weekend at posh castle in Scotland – the 3 key words in this entry are: posh, castle and Scotland. That’s all you need to know.
Likelihood of achievement: excellent (any suggestions where I might make reservations?)

3. Coast to Coast Walk – according to Wikipedia, this is described as, “a 192-mile unofficial and mostly unsignposted long distance footpath in Northern England. Devised by Alfred Wainwright, it passes through three contrasting national parks.” The walk connects both coasts of the UK at their narrowest point. What scenery that must be and a personal challenge to achieve the goal. I like the idea of walking it with a sherpa service which delivers my luggage to B&Bs along the way. I liked the idea of it so much, I bought a coffee table book about it. :)
Likelihood of achievement: poor. I currently consider walking the dog for 30 minutes on flat surfaces, “quite a good walk”. Thus the time commitment and training to do such a walk doesn’t bode well for me. But that could change, you never know.

4. A weekend of museums in London – I love museums! I don’t read everything and I remember almost nothing, but nevertheless, I thoroughly enjoy visiting museums; particularly history museums. There are countless museums in London but I’d like to take a long weekend and visit several of them, including: The British Museum, Victoria and Albert Museum, Imperial War Museum, Museum of Natural History and maybe even the Science museum.
Likelihood of achievement: excellent (if I’m willing to accept I probably can’t nor will want to see that many in just one weekend and space them out more).

5. Date a rugby player: in addition to liking the idea of dating a man whose thighs are bigger than mine (which is quite a tall order, I don’t mind telling you), I would like to date a man who can throw me over his shoulder and run around the backyard with me squealing in laughter.
Likelihood of achievement: variable since it largely depends on how I define “rugby player” and if “former” is allowed.

6. A week in a Canal boat – this is coming from a girl who has never gone on a cruise for fear that the motion-sickness would ruin the fun (I prefer riding in the front seat of cars to avoid feeling ill!). However, the idea of cruising the many canals of the River Thames at a slow and easy pace doesn’t concern me nearly as much. Besides, if I had to get off the boat, I could probably make the jump to land as we’re hardly talking “open water”. I also like the idea of some self-catering on the canal boat but also being able to park (what would the right term be for this, I wonder?) and go into a local restaurant (or for a Starbucks run!) For me, this idea means relaxation, good conversation, reading, games with family or friends who are with me. On the down side, if it’s chucking it down with rain, one may have to conquer severe cabin fever!
Likelihood of achievement: Good, especially if I’m doing it with someone who is happy to “drive” the boat and we don’t have to worry about that side of things.

7, Have a proper “high tea” – I’ve had a lot of cream teas but I’m not sure I’ve never had the kind of “high tea” that, for this American anyway, is synonymous with upper class British life. Cucumber sandwiches (without crusts of course), a selection of beautiful cakes all on a multi-tiered dish. That is something I’d like to do once. And as such, I’d like to do it in a posh (expensive) place such as The Ritz Hotel in London which starts at £42 per person. Maybe I can combine it with #4 on my list. Two birds with one stone and all that. Note to self: jeans are not permitted at The Ritz. Damn.
Likelihood of achievement: Excellent. Perhaps it’ll have to be something I do with my mom during her next visit. It’s a lot of money but it’d be one of those experiences that we could talk about and say we’ve done.

8. Visit “Victorian Farm” in Shropshire - Technically, I wouldn’t be visiting Victorian Farm which was shown in the BBC documentary series, but actually the nearby town Blists Hill which is described as an “open air museum” which “attempts to recreate the sights, sounds and smells of a Victorian Shropshire town in the late 19th century and early 20th century”. Because I enjoyed the documentary series so much, I think spending a day here would be fascinating. Would I remember anything, though (which is my issue with museums...retention issues)?
Likelihood of achievement: A real toss up. Once I’m busy doing the other items on the bucket list and also going off and seeing places abroad, I doubt I’ll ever really make the time to drive up to the midlands to see this. However, when my sister and her family come to visit, that may be something we work into an already planned road trip somewhere (probably something to do with Doctor Who, if I know them).

9. Be swept off my feet by a Scotsman (with good teeth) – if I were writing about fantasies, then this would be combined with number 5 but I’m a (semi) realist and am breaking down the bucket list into separate items. Being swept away could be short term or long term but I tell you what, I’m a sucker for the Scottish accent. If he has good (or even decent) teeth, he’s so in with a chance.
Likelihood of achievement – poor. Insert jokes here about Scottish teeth if you like but that’s not the reason this has such a low likelihood. The reason is I live on the south coast and there aren’t many Scotsmen around, let alone ones with good teeth who would like to sweep this American with big hair and red lips off her feet. Still, hope springs eternal.

10. See a tennis match at Wimbledon – I’m the kind of tennis fan that enjoys the Grand Slams. But other than that, I barely follow tennis (so that probably makes me normal, come to think of it). My mom and I have a new tradition; she comes to visit me in late June and we watch Wimbledon on TV. I’d like to have the experience of seeing a match in person. However, I do not have any desire to go there at the crack of dawn and queue hoping for a ticket, that’s not my style. Instead, I’ll put myself in for the lottery each year until I get some tickets (then pray for no rain!) I got my application in at the end of 2011 as required, so who knows, maybe I’ll have some beginner’s luck and score tix for this year’s tournament.
Likelihood of achievement – Fair. If I were willing to travel and queue, it’d change this to “likely”. But as I’m not, I’ll have to rely on diligence on my part and fairness on theirs.

Honourable mention: a Regular column in a newspaper or magazine about my take being an American here. “Living the (American) Dream in Ringwood, Hampshire” or something like that. This shouldn’t really be on the Bucket List because this is so very possible and is just a matter of putting myself forward to a few local publications with some article ideas until someone agrees. What stops me is my fear. So perhaps on the bucket list should be overcoming my fear!

What about you? Do you have anything on your British Bucket List? Or if not that, what is on your general Bucket List? I can’t wait to read your comments!

10 Ways Brits Do Christmas Differently to Americans

2011-12-01T11:00:00.004Z

I love Christmas. Actually, I love the build-up to Christmas; the day itself is always a let-down. But never mind, what’s important is I love the traditions of Christmas and how lucky I am to experience them in a different country as well! That means I get two sets of traditions to pick and choose from. There are several ways, in my experience, that Christmas differs in the UK compared to America. While this list is by no means exhaustive, here is a list of 10 ways Brits do the festive season differently to Americans:

1. Christmas Crackers – and not the edible kind! What’s better than a dinner party favor that provides enjoyment in 3 ways? First, the excitement and fun of popping them open with the person next to you (and startling the dogs). Second, adorning your head with the colorful, paper crown. And finally, seeing what cheesy gift is inside the cracker. Will it be a fake moustache? A plastic ring? A miniature horse? Basically it needs to be small, plastic and something little children could choke on to be a good Christmas cracker.

Here I am modelling crown & toy from a Christmas cracker in 2009.

2. Boxing Day – Typically occurring in commonwealth countries (UK, Canada, Australia, etc.) Boxing Day is a bank holiday on 26th of December. Part of the Christmas season, it often involves more eating (leftovers usually), seeing family and relaxing after the busy day that is Christmas. The history of Boxing Day is unclear and several theories exist. But whatever the case, it’s wonderful to enjoy this paid day off directly following Christmas Day.

3. TV vs Movies –In America, Christmas a big box office day for cinema. Blockbusters are released on Christmas day and you can enjoy going to the movies which I’ve done several times myself. However, in the UK the cinemas shut down completely. But in its place, there is a lot of expectation of Christmas TV, usually highlighted by special Christmas episodes of popular TV shows: Doctor Who, Downton Abbey and a generous helping of cheesy Christmas specials.

4. Christmas cards to everyone you know – this may be a very specific ‘Valerie Tanswell’ difference based on just my own experience. In America, it seems we mainly use Christmas cards to send greetings and holiday wishes to friends and family we don’t see very often. But in the UK, it seems you give Christmas cards to even those you see every day. “Good morning, Valerie, this is for you.”

5. Christmas lights, not so much – It’s a real let down in the UK when it comes to exterior Christmas lights. I know some Brits will pipe up saying that some houses do put Christmas lights up, but respectfully I will stop you there! It pales in comparison to American neighborhoods and their Christmas lights. I miss the tradition of everyone loading into the SUV (this is America we’re talking about after all), getting a gingerbread latté from Starbucks and heading off for an evening of Christmas music and looking at Christmas lights.

6. Father Christmas – Santa Clause is also known as “Father Christmas” here. Side-note: it’s also common to wish someone a “Happy Christmas” instead of a Merry Christmas.

7. Close everything down – no Starbucks run in the morning (which was a very LA thing I used to do). No last minute runs to the grocery store to pick up forgotten bits. Good luck finding a petrol station that’s open. This country closes down on Christmas Day and you’d better be prepared!

8. The Queen’s Speech (Royal Christmas Message) - established in 1932, it’s the one time a year where the British Monarch communicates directly to the Commonwealth nations independently of any ministers or other government influences. Broadcast on Christmas day, Her Majesty will include milestones for the monarchy (her own “year in review”) and what Christmas means to her. Note: I’ve never watched one in full; they’re quite dull (forgive me die-hard Anglophiles).

"1992...has turned out to be an 'Annus Horribilis. '"

9. Not breaking the bank – overall I find the Brits less focused on having to give big presents than Americans. Everyone struggles at Christmas to manage their budgets, but Brits have a bit more grounded approach to gifts. I think Americans tend to show their love by how big the gifts they give are but it doesn’t seem Brits have that need to the same degree. At least not in my experience.

10. Food – Traditional American Christmas foods include turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie etc. British Christmas traditional food isn’t totally different from the US but there are a few very specific Christmas items that are different. Strangely all three of my examples include dried fruit. Ummm… okay.

Mince pies – modern mince pies are small, sweet pies which include currants and spices. Best served warm.

Christmas pudding - Not pudding in the American traditional sense (in the UK, a pudding = dessert). It’s a cake made of dark sugars, currants and raisins and often a nice dose of alcohol (brandy for example). It’s served hot with custard or cream.

Christmas cake – Basically it’s a heavy fruitcake! Sometimes made with alcohol as well, this type of cake can be made months before and if finished with a 1 inch thick layer of hard icing. For this American, it’s a very odd cake and not my favorite. Incidentally, it’s the same recipe that is used here for traditional wedding cake.

Honorable mention goes to traditional English Panto which I’ve never seen myself but Wikipedia describes as, “a popular form of theatre, incorporating song, dance, buffoonery, slapstick, cross-dressing, in-jokes, topical references, audience participation, and mild sexual innuendo.”

What do you think? Are any of these a surprise? Do you agree with them? Have I missed anything important?

They Talk Funny Here. Ain't nuthin' but a G Thang.

2011-08-27T18:17:00.001+01:00

After the fun of the "P" edition of They Talk Funny Here, I thought I'd put together a new list of words/expressions we don't use in America. For no particular reason, I recently started noticing "G" words.

So here you have it, Five "G" words that might sound weird to an American over here:

1. give over - In the states, we might say "get out of town!" or "no way!" Here, one way to respond if you hear something incredulous is to say (best in a very exaggerated tone), "Give over!"

2. gutted - An oft-used expression by yours truly. It means disappointed, or even upset. As in, "I heard back about the job I interviewed for...I didn't get it. I'm gutted."

3. gor-blimey - I was surprised to see this spelled out to be honest. To my American ears, it sounds almost like they say CWAW-blimey (sounding things out is not my strong-suit obviously). It's kind of like, "wow!" because it shows surprise or possibility that you're impressed by something. Example: "Those boots are on sale for...400 pounds? Gor-blimey that's ridiculously expensive!"

4. grotty - This can be used to describe something gross, shabby or crappy. The most common ways I've heard it used are: "The size of the flat is okay but the kitchen is so grotty, it'd take days to get it clean" or to describe when you're feeling unwell, "I think I'll head home early, I'm feeling pretty grotty."

5. git - Amazing how many words there are here to describe less than awesome men. Git is one of them. It's often used with "old" but not always. "I was going to park there but this git had parked his car over the lines!"

Here are a few other "g" words you might here over here:
geezer - old guy (derogatory)
guvnor - boss, someone in charge
gobshite - someone who talks a lot of crap. (gob = mouth, shite = crap).
gormless - idiot
graft - work hard

What do you think? Are there any other "g" words you'd add to the list?

They Talk Funny Here -"10 Effing F Words!"

2011-08-06T14:50:00.004+01:00

Who doesn't like a good F word? Today it's time to have a look at F words and phrases used here in Britain which are different to American ones. So here are 10 F words to keep your ear out for if/when you come to the UK and their meanings:

1. Fag - Simply means a cigarette and is used quite commonly. It's not considered offensive (the word that is) and to be honest, I'm not sure I've ever heard anyone use this as a derogatory word for a gay man here, which isn't to say it's not uttered at all, but I've not heard it. Every day my coworkers say as they're gathering their cigarettes and lighters for a smoke break, "Just popping out for a fag."

2. Faggot - In my experience, the only time you ever really see or hear this word is with regards to food. It's a type of sausage made from meat cut-offs and these cuts offs are even grosser than a normal sausage (says the vegetarian blogger writing this). "Faggots, mash & peas" might be something you see on a traditional English or Welsh menu.

Faggots with peas and mash.

3. Fancy - I love this word! I love using it to show I like something. "I fancy a curry take out tonight, how about you?" or "Ohh yes, I do fancy the vet, I shall now call him Dr. Dreamy" (last part a true story). Sidebar: just a quick mention of fancy dress - We Americans call this a costume party. To the Brits, they're "fancy dress parties". Same exact meaning. "I want to go to the New Year's eve party this year, but it's fancy dress...not sure what I should go as, maybe Marilyn Monroe?"

4. Fairy lights - These are what we would call Christmas lights. But isn't "fairy lights" a more fun and whimsical phrase for them?

5. Father Christmas - Since my first life here in the early 90's, I've noticed Father Christmas is being used less and less each year and Santa Claus is emerging more commonly. I blame globalisation as I'm sure you do. :) But doesn't Father Christmas conjure up a gentle, jolly old man?

6. Fire Brigade - If you have an emergency and call 999 here (not 911) and can either contact police or fire and choose the latter, it's the fire brigade who will show up at your house. To me, "brigade" really brings to mind heroes working together (which all firemen are, but this word somehow gives it extra emphasis).

Fire Brigade at your rescue!

7. Flannel - this is one of those can mean the same as in America (as in the type of material) but it's also used as a word to describe washcloths."I use a flannel to wash my face at night."

8. Full stop - Period! And by that I mean, punctuation (written and emphasis in speaking). It took me at least a year to figure out they meant the same thing! Example: a mother says to her teenager, "You are not going out until you clean up your room, no negotiation, not discussion. Full stop!"


I must check out this children's book!

9. Fringe- Bangs. Brits giggle that we would call something so obviously a fringe an odd word like bangs. And to be honest, they've got a point. Why do Americans call the shorter hair at the top of their forehead bangs? Bangs is used as a plural but fringe singular. "I'm going for something different at my next hair appointment, think I'll get a fringe."

That is one blunt fringe!

10. Football - Americans and Canadians are in the minority when it comes to football. Instead of calling it football like the rest of the world, they call it "soccer". If I'm referring to football as an American, I always have to remember to call it "American football" and the Brits know what I mean. Side-note: most Brits just do not understand why anyone would watch such a game with its constant starts and stops. I can't explain, it's a cultural thing and I love American football. Football however, bores me. 90 minutes of running around and for what? A goal or two?

And honorable mention goes to...

Fanny - rarely used here because to be honest, it's used to describe a woman's woohoo! Unlike in American English when it means anyone's bum, here fanny means genitalia. Therefore it makes me smile as Brits explain their surprise at what we Americans call "Fanny packs". You can understand why it has them in stitches!

Fortnight - 2 weeks. Used quite often. Speaking about an upcoming vacation (holiday), you may hear a Brit say, "We're spending a fortnight in Greece, can't wait!"

What do you think have I missed any out/ What other F words or phrases should be in the list?

10 American Foods I Really Miss!

2011-07-24T20:07:00.000+01:00

This is actually a post inspired by not just my nostalgic longings for cuisine d'American but by my coworker as well. Sidebar: it's amazing that for a small town like ours and a small company like the one I work for, somehow there are TWO of us (brash) Americans working there. And thank heavens. Having Danielle in the open plan living space means I'm not always the loudest. :)

Anyway, we often erupt into oohs and ahhhs of longing when we start talking about foods we miss from back home as we suck on jolly ranchers (her husband has brought back for her from a business trip to the states). She's from Minnesota and sometimes her tastes are very colloquial. But overall, we know what each other are talking about. Together, we put together a list of 10 foods that we miss (5 each). Can you guess which ones are mine and which ones are hers? Here they are in no particular order: 10 American Foods We Really Miss!

1. A bowl of Stove-Top Stuffing is pretty close to having a bowl of love. Yes, you can get the Paxo brand here, but somehow this oldie but goody brings a sense of security and home.

2. While many American foods are slowly making their way over here, we have yet to come across any bagel shops. Being able to go into a place like Einstein's Bros and having a choice of innumerable choices of bagels and schmears is something to be missed. One favorite is the everything bagel. Coated with salt, pepper, garlic and chili flakes, this bagel really does have everything. Note: have a toothpick handy, those seeds can in all the crevices!

3. It it buttery? Does it taste like peanut butter? Does it bunch up in your mouth into luscious gobs of sugary goodness? Yes to all of the above. This food isn't a huge hit with the Brits (that we've shared it with), probably because peanut buttery foods just don't have the same popularity here. But when anyone sends care packages from America, Butterfingers are on the request list!

4. Speaking of peanut butter, Trader Joe's peanut butter filled pretzels have the ability to be savory, a bit of sweet and filling. They partner perfectly with a cup of tea or coffee and act as a brilliant snack that has protein, pleasure but doesn't leave you in a food coma.

5. This entry is all about the nostalgia and very little about flavor. If you say macaroni and cheese to an American, they probably picture a bowl of Kraft Dinner. And I am sure the Brits would be mortified being served up this uniquely American dish. Over processed, dirty cheap and cheese sauce which is made from a powdered mixture, a bowl of Kraft Dinner is something that will probably continue to be missed no matter how bad it might actually taste.

6. Also known as every housewife's "helping hand", as evidenced by the Helping Hand Mascot with only 4 fingers (and no thumb, perhaps a cooking accident?), Hamburger Helper takes meat and elevates it to a new level level. These levels are family meals such as: Cheesy Nacho, Sloppy Joe and even Tuna Helper.

7. Starbucks Iced Coffee is something that just hasn't taken off here and probably never will. A crispy, fresh glass of specially brewed iced coffee (brewed twice as strong to take into account the ice that will eventually melt) with half & half is something uniquely American. You can get cold coffee here, but they like to use a blender and make frappes and it is just not the same! Recent trip back to America showed Starbucks now has a Trenta size and "heavenly" is one way to describe it!

8. I think we can all agree sausage meat is pretty gross when you think about it. So imagine the delight at finding a vegetarian option that looks, smells & tastes like it! Because sausage in the UK has a very different taste (and is in traditional sausage shapes), being able to have these vegetarian sausage patties to put on toast or bagels is something that is particularly missed here (plus they're microwaveable so no frying!). One of these with yellow mustard on toasted whole wheat bread and you've got a low fat, high protein breakfast!

9. Could be for popcorn, could be for candies applies, could be for yummy Rice Krispie treats or even just to snack on, but simple caramel is not easy to find here. Caramel with chocolate or as a cooking ingredient yes (and yummy too) but these little lovelies individually wrapped are not something we've seen here.

10. When I first moved to England in 1992 and ordered a salad, my choice of salad dressing consisted of mayo or oil & vinegar (if I was lucky). Salads have come a long way in that time, let me tell you, but there is still a gap in the market and that is a gap for Ranch dressing. Can't possibly explain the taste but it's great on any salad. Actually it's not just yummy on salads, it's great as a dipping sauce (potato wedges anyone?) and even the dried seasoning can be good on popcorn. The best ranch dressing is made from scratch (with the mix) but if need be, you can buy it already in the bottle thanks to Hidden Valley.

So there's our list and I am now starving. Unfortunately I will have to make do with what's in my cupboard as I can't savor any of these items for the moment but next trip back to America will have me returning with stashes of several of these items.

In the meantime, what do you think? If you're a Brit, have you had any of these and what do you think? If you're an American ex-pat, do you agree with our list and what would you add to it?

The role of Facebook in the beginning, middle and end of my relationship.

2011-06-11T19:42:00.012+01:00

He was my first. Never before have I had a relationship anything like it. Now that the relationship is over I wonder, would I want another one like it? And if I don’t, is it even avoidable? It was the first time I’ve had a relationship where Facebook was so central. Looking back (and I suppose forward), I’m not interested in judging Facebook as good or bad (probably because nothing can stop me loving Facebook!) but I’m simply sharing my reflections on the role Facebook played in the start, continuation and finally the end of a relationship.

The beginning

We had mutual friends and saw each other occasionally at events but it wasn’t until we became “friends” on Facebook that things really started to percolate. Being able to look through each other’s photos, asking questions and commenting on statuses prompted regular contact. Then the online chatting began. An experienced Facebooker, our first chats were about me helping him get familiar with how Facebook worked. Pretty soon we were chatting regularly and the flirtation escalated. In our chats, we began to make the occasional innuendos and hints we never would’ve had the courage to do in person or even on the phone - at least not that soon. The sense of intimacy on Facebook helped move us forward to exchanging phone numbers and from there texting followed by the first date and onto an 11 month relationship.

The middle

When I changed my status on Facebook from single to “in a relationship” and went a step further naming him as the one I was in a relationship with, somehow seeing it on my wall made it real; that by declaring it on Facebook meant we really were in a commitment!

Facebook was also a communal way of sharing our adventures, laughs and even the rough days and an easy way to connect throughout the day. Dozens of “self-portraits” were posted during our relationship (all initiated by me…I love taking those!) these were often used as new profile pics. Between all the photos we posted of our adventures, trips and experiences and the ongoing commenting on each other’s (and friends’) walls, our friends and family got to “know” us. My family and friends in America “friended” him and the community around our relationship grew.

The end

In the immediate minutes after the breakup, I knew I needed to delete him as a friend on Facebook. Not because he was a terrible person who had done me wrong (he isn’t and hadn’t), but because it was too painful to remain “friends” online. I didn’t want to know if he was online, I didn’t want to see if he was active or idle, I didn’t want to wish he would ping me, I didn’t want to see his statuses, to gauge if he was hurting or happy...I didn't want to see anything. To heal, to move on, ties had to be cut. In a perfect world, you move on by having enough time to just grieve and heal without any unnecessary reminders. And I did my best to create that. Occasionally, I’d catch one of his comments on a mutual friend’s wall and my stomach would drop. And in those moments, I knew I had done the right thing for my mending heart having removed him and all his family members from my Facebook world. I needed Facebook to be a safe place I could move through, post and comment without the fear of “bumping” into him.

About a month later, a couple of people inquired why our photos were still on my Facebook page. Up until that point, I was too busy with the day to day post-breakup roller-coaster of feelings to face them or worry about them. And then one Friday night, I knew it was time. To remove the photos on Facebook was to acknowledge it was over and I had to move forward. And during one painful evening, I deleted our relationship as chronicled on Facebook. I didn’t dwell on the photos, I didn’t read the comments, I just knew that I was doing what I had to do. And I was right. That night I turned a corner.

The future

Looking forward, I accept (and actually appreciate) that for most of us Facebook is part of our daily activity of connecting with others. Therefore at some stage when I’m dating again, it will likely have its rightful place in the relationship (unless I date someone whose identity must remain secret for the sake of national security…that sounds kinda hot, don’t you think?) In the meantime, I wonder what you think – where does Facebook sit with your romantic relationships? Helped? Hindered? Or something else?

A 47 year old, married, full time working mom of 6 and...a MARATHON runner!

2011-06-07T16:40:00.006+01:00

I'm so thrilled to be sharing this post. Written by my dear friend, Tammy Kerigan, it is a story of remarkable resolve, planning, dedication, honesty and humor! Deciding at 47 years old to run her first marathon, Tammy shares with us the process; from how she came to the decision, through the training (along with some hysterical anecdotes) and a truly moving recounting of the experience. Please share this story of achievement with others - she's a remarkable woman and someone I'm proud to call my friend.

My First Marathon - by Tammy Kerigan.

Dreams deferred are potential dreams never to be realized.

“Hell No! No way. There is no possible chance of me ever having the time to neither train nor the stamina to run 26.2 miles straight.” That is what I told myself watching the runners in the Palos Verdes Marathon cruise by on PV Dr West year after year. Since I was 15, I have been the type of runner who runs 3-4 miles a day. I had done some 10Ks, ran a 100 mile race (with a team of 12), swam in a 1 mile rough water swim, biked 50 miles and did PV ½ Marathon last year. But, in my head, none of this could hold a candle to the training and endurance required to complete a marathon. The stuff I'd done was Mickey Mouse in comparison! Then I had a light bulb moment, “Why not?” I was about to turn 47 and this had been a goal of mine for years. Yes my husband and I have 6 kids and yes I have a full time job, but still…why not? I googled “marathon training”, found Hal Higdon’s Intermediate I schedule, printed it out and began 18 weeks of training (some would call it 18 weeks of insanity).

And so it begins.

I began the 18 week training program 2 weeks prior to registering for the marathon, thinking that if I absolutely hated the training, I could save face and not register. What I didn’t know then (luckily?) was that it wouldn’t be until week 4 that my fears and doubts would kick in and I would start to question my sanity. So there I was in week 4 doing my first “long run” of 11 miles. I ran to the Trump National Golf Course. Arriving at the Golf Course, I wearily asked myself, “Damn, I have to run all the way back?” But I did and on that day when I thought I could not run one more step, I thought “How am I ever, ever going to run 26.2 miles?”

The AHA moment arrives and just in time.

The magic 10 week mark. The “AHA” moment. The shift. This is when it occurred for me – when I finally felt a teensy, weensy ounce of confidence that I could potentially run a marathon and do it in less than 8 hours! This was also the week where I started waking up at 4:30am, 2 days a week to get in 8 miles before our household woke up to begin their day. Amazingly, my body automatically started waking up at 4:15am, ready to go. These were the strangest, most eerie runs. Pitch black and if I was lucky, I would catch some moonlight on my path. It was also during one of these early morning runs that I actually ran head on into another runner in the dark! It was all his fault of course because he was wearing all black (it had nothing to do with the fact that I was completely rocking out to my music, staring at the moon over the rolling waves of the ocean.) In this week I ran 4 miles in 30 minutes and 17 miles in 1 hour, 41 minutes! Eureka! I could feel my legs were stronger and my stamina increased. On a 17 mile run, my friend Cammie’s words were ringing in my head, “You are a marathoner. You are a marathoner.” And, it turns out the training works! “See Tammy, you stick with a plan, follow what the experts have done before you and hey look, you can do it too!” This gave me the self confidence to push on – through innumerable early wake up calls and what may be the most painful run of my life…

You can’t make this stuff up!

22 miles from our house in Redondo Beach to Santa Monica. I left home at 9am thinking “Oh what a gorgeous day. This is going to be fun.” What could possibly go wrong? After running in the dark for so many weeks, my body was not accustomed to the heat. I had finally caved in and bought the oh-so attractive “hydration belt” (and yes, I balked on this purchase for weeks due to sheer vanity). I had 5 GU gel packs in my favorite flavor, vanilla – I was good to go, right? Wrong. What I did not factor in when I mapped out the run was the tunnel under the runway at Los Angeles International Airport. Imagine my surprise to find NO pedestrians! A problem solver at heart, I figured, “No problem – I will just run quickly through the tunnel”. There is nothing like checking in with your mortality (and stupidity) when running head first against 3 lanes of oncoming airport traffic on a small walkway in a tunnel. Somehow I made it to Santa Monica but with the thought “This was 22 miles. How the heck am I going to run 26 miles?” Throughout this, I was still clinging to the fantasy of running the marathon in 4 hours or less to qualify for the Mother of all Marathons – Boston. But deep inside, I knew that given my average time on long runs, that this was unrealistic.


This is the route, as a marathon runner you do this twice.

Marathon first half – a breeze!

Thank goodness I picked the PV marathon for my first marathon. It was my training ground, out my back door. Since I had run the ½ marathon last year, I knew that there were about 2,000 participants. But, what I did not know was that only 230 were marathoners (the implication of this coming up). I walked the two miles to the start/finish line in Terranea at 6am – (note to self: much too early!) I was calmly nervous but excited. I was anxious to get going (and to get it over with) and I was still a tad bit concerned about the last few miles. However, I knew that I had followed the training program, ran the necessary miles to be able to complete a marathon and that the only thing that would prevent me from crossing that finish line would be dehydration and lack of nutrition. So, I planned to drink at every stop and I had 8 gel packs to get me through. I stuck with my plan and even ate 2-3 bananas as well. The first ½ was great. I was running with all the ½ marathoners, lots of energy, momentum and the course was actually dotted with a few supporters. Aside from the uber annoying heavy footed man who insisted on clomping right next to me for over 4 miles (I finally lost him), I was happy and feeling good.


Mile 11 and still smiling

Marathon second half – gulp.

Then the ½ marathoners peeled off to go to the finish line. “What? I have to do this all over again?” At that point, I was envious and pissed off watching 95% of the runners waving their arms and shouting with joy as they crossed the finish line. It was pretty lonely out there that second half. It was me, two guys and a girl (who kept falling off, walking and then running to catch up – way to go her!). Thank God my hubby Pat and 4 year old son Grayson stayed in their spot for over 4 hours - cheering me on those last two passes at miles 15 and 22. Also, my 16 and 15 year old boys Jackson and Casey drove up in their dad’s golf cart at mile 16 and were my pacesetters for a bit. My family’s love and support really carried me through to the end. When I hit mile 20, my legs were stiff and I felt like I was hardly moving but I pressed on. Once I passed Pat and Grayson at mile 22, I knew I would finish but what would my time be? The girl passed me at Mile 23 but I kept chugging along. Funny, she was walking up the hill a bit later at mile 25 and hey, this old lady passed her (it is the little things that matter when you are running for over 4 hours straight!) I got to the last 50 yards and sprinted (HA HA) as fast as I could. There were about four people lining the finish line and one had a cow bell – so I had that going for me. All I know is that I had a HUGE smile on my face and was so proud of myself when I crossed that line – 4 hours 32 minutes. (Just as my training predicted.)


Mile 15, in the 2nd half...grateful for the family support!

Was it worth it?

Although I did not attain my dream goal of qualifying for Boston, this was a process of self discovery. The main lesson was “Never say never.” I always believed in that motto but never felt it as deeply as I did after completing my first marathon. I committed to a training program. I did the work on a daily basis. I did not give up when my mind and body wanted to throw in the towel. I believed in the process and allowed myself to experience it without beating myself up for mistakes. I let go of unrealistic expectations, focused on the amazing adventure I was on and gave myself credit where credit was due. The beauty of it is that this transformation can apply to any area of life – work, education, raising kids – if I believe in myself and do the work, anything is possible...which only leaves me to say...Vegas Nighttime Rock & Roll Marathon, December 4^th 2011...it is ON baby!

Why Baths Suck and Showers Rule

2011-05-11T19:03:00.002+01:00

I know there will be loads of you who just looooooove your bubble baths and who will balk at this post but I'm sorry - your reasons for loving baths just do not hold water with me (get it? hold water? I'm on FIRE!) I always have and always will think showers are far superior. After my newly acquired power shower went down for repairs recently, I was forced to bathe and it reminded me of the numerous reasons why baths suck and showers rule.

Baths suck because...

you have to wait ridiculous amounts of time for sufficient water to fill the bath to even begin to make it enjoyable.
if you mess up the temperature, you're screwed. Too hot and you have to wait for it to cool down or scald yourself while forcing yourself in (admit it, you know you do that to yourself). Too cold and it's too bad for you because you can't heat it up as you usually will have already used all the hot water.
even if a hot bath feels good at first, within 5 minutes your body heat is through the roof and if you're like me, you will lie in the hot bath...sweating. Not cool.
when you begin to actually bathe, you end up sitting in your dirt. If you shave, you see the shaved hairs, you see the soap residue and you can't really feel rinsed off seeing all of that. In fact, the same holds true for draining the bath - all the dirt, gunk and soap-scum remain on the edges.
if you have a mane of hair like mine, washing hair in a bath is difficult. Yes the dunking of the hair works well for total wet factor, but you can't lather it twice (see reason 4) let alone condition it.

Showers rule because...

In and out factor - it's efficient and to the point. You can't really get it wrong: turn on, adjust temperature, wash, rinse and you're done.
You can easily position yourself to stand under the stream just so as to get hot water on aching necks, shoulders, back. Therapeutic and relaxing.
Temperature is easily adjustable. On cold days, I like to slowly inch the temperature up bit by bit and just turn around in the shower warming myself up.
Your dirt rinses as you go including soap, shaving cream, shampoo etc. You get to feel clean right away!
Energy efficiency - you use less water showering than bathing.

Note: I will allow that for families, baths are somewhat better for kids but that's only because of conditioning. Because really, shouldn't kids be learning how much better showers are as soon as they can stand up?

What do you think - which do you prefer and why?

3 Things I've Learned 3 Weeks into My New Job.

2011-04-03T11:55:00.000+01:00

With joy, relief and excitement, I recently re-entered the workplace after a long and arduous search for the right fit for me. It's a job that offers me lots of different tasks, loads to learn and great folks to do it with. So I have tons of gratitude. Along with the steep learning curve of being in a new job, here are 3 others "truths" I've recently learned:

1. "The only reason for time is so everything doesn't happen at once" - Albert Einstein
Al, you make a good point. Here's another universal law that needs testing: are there indeed not enough hours in the day? Because I feel a tightness in my stomach on a daily basis wondering how to balance work with "life" as I knew it. When do I relax? Sleep? See friends? Do laundry? Walk the dog? Grocery shop? Blog? Watch TV (this one is huge, I need help integrating this!)? Billions of people in the world do it, or at least accept they can't do it all, so I trust I'll get there too. But right now, I feel like I've hit a huge, iceberg of a wall!

2. “God loveth the clean" - the Koran
I loveth the clean too but what I loveth more is paying others to clean my house. And I need to get on that, right away. Even if I find the time to clean (see point number 1 about not having enough time), why would I want to waste it by cleaning up...waste? Time to find someone who will take care of this!

3. "A diva is someone who is a perfectionist, who does her best in her craft" - Patti LaBelle
Well hell's bells. If that's true, then I am a diva! But seriously, on a day to day basis, what I struggle with is wanting to do it all perfectly. Because that's totally achievable: 3 weeks into a job in an industry I previously knew nothing about and obviously I should have mastery. Pah! When I sit back and look at myself, I see how unrealistic I can be with my expectations of myself. Do others do this to themselves? Have ridiculously and unachievable goals of themselves and beat themselves up for not meeting them?

I wonder what I'll have learned by 13 weeks! I'll keep you posted!

They Talk Funny Here, "P" edition

2011-02-19T16:54:00.001Z

It may indeed be true that Britain and America are "two nations divided by a common language". Even after a cummulative 9 years of living here, I still find the differences interesting and sometimes surprising. Here are a few "P" words/phrases you'll hear if you come to Britain and a guide to what they actually mean.

Poorly - Very useful this one. The American equivalent to this is to be sick. But to be sick in the UK means to vomit (confused yet?) So if you're trying to describe that your health is bad, or you're unwell in general, you don't say you're sick (unless you're puking) but rather, "I'm feeling poorly".

Pants - This is one of the ones I've had to reteach myself because "pants" in the UK is underwear! Try telling your colleague, "Your pants are nice," only to receive an embarrassed and shocked look (and a warning for sexual harassment)! So remember: pants = underwear. But more than that, "pants" is also used as an expression to signal displeasure. A friend recently told me of the bad mobile phone (cellphone) reception in her neighborhood, "It's pants!", she said.

Pillock - I wonder if the Brits get annoyed easily because they have so many words to describe a stupid or annoying person (which I just love). "He's clueless and annoying, what a pillock!" (it's pronounced, at least to this American, as "PILLick".)

Palava/Palaver - This one makes me grin, not sure why, maybe because it sounds like a dessert? It is used to describe unnecessary chaos. As in, "I invited Mark but he wanted to bring Suzie. But if Suzie comes, she wants Alec to know that he can come too and so Mark asked if I would contact them both but only by text. Good lord, what a total palava!"

Pissed - In Britain this word on its own simply means drunk, it does not mean angry as it does in America."Man, I had no idea you were such a lightweight, only 2 beers you were totally pissed!" As an American, I have had to train myself on this one because the difference can create huge issues. Example: "Last night on the way home on the motorway this guy cut me off and I was so pissed!"...this means to me (as an American) that I was angry but to a Brit that I was drunk driving!

What about you, do you know of any other words/phrases starting with "P" that are different between Britain and America?

Image courtesy of languageinindia.com

Top Ten Reasons I LOVE Winter!

2011-02-06T16:30:00.001Z

What a pleasure it is to be guest-posting on The Top 10 Blog website again. With all the harsh winter weather and chronic moaning about how awful the cold is, I am sharing 10 reasons why I just LOVE winter! Click HERE to read my full list and please let me know if you agree/disagree!

"They Talk Funny Here, but even FUNNIER in Scotland" - 5 Must Know Expressions

2011-02-02T13:02:00.038Z

It's important to have dreams and one of my long-standing dreams has always been to have a Scottish boyfriend. And though I of course wanted said boyfriend to have all the qualities any good boyfriend would have, my special requirement was that accent! I wanted the luxury of hearing the rolling of the "r's" on a regular basis (and you know my name has at least 1!) And I sure did luck out with a charming, kind and funny chap from Bonnyrigg, Midlothian (which is near Edinburgh).

But it's not only the accent that's different, they have unique expressions and vocabulary (I've been referred to as "hen" and as his "burd"). So John McK has put together this quick guide of 5 "must know" Scottish expressions. To achieve accent authenticity, John recommends you speak out of the corner of your mouth which works for me. As he often says when I break out my Scottish accent, "If you close your eyes, it's like a Glaswegian is in the room speaking," (did I mention he's also sarcastic?)

John's 5 "Must Know" Scottish Expressions

1) "Chips gi'e ye plooks."

Translation: Eating too many chips (fries), will give you spots (pimples).

And while on the subject of food...

2) "A'm stappit fu.'"

Translation: I've eaten too much.

or (if you're posh): It would appear that I may have allowed myself to become overserved.

3) "Geeza keek o' yer divit."

Translation: I would like to see you naked. (obviously a favorite of mine).

4) "Ye've got a face like a skelped erse."

Translation: Your face looks quite red

or (if you're a bit more proper): It is quite warm in here, you appear to be rather flushed.

5) "Yer heid's aw mince."

Translation: Your thinking may be a little scrambled

Thanks to John for contributing to the blog today and let's all remember the Scottish motto which is not "FREEEEEEDOMMMMM" but is actually, "Nemo me impune lacessit" which in laymen terms (and rather bad grammatical terms too, if you ask me): "In My Defens God Me Defend."

Confession Time: My Secret Thoughts about Twitter

2011-01-24T15:52:00.005Z

When it comes to being "on the pulse" of any topic you can think of, there's nothing much better than Twitter. Joining Twitter only 9 months ago, I wasn't sure if it was for me. But as I've found more and more interesting folks to follow and some hilarious people too, I do enjoy it. But I gotta tell you, I'm harboring some secret thoughts, some things I don't know if it's okay to say about Twitter. So in an effort to free myself of the burden of these secrets, I'm here to just lay 'em out, be open and tell you my secret Twitter thoughts.

1) To follow or to really follow
I initially thought if I followed someone on Twitter, I'd care about what they had to say. I assumed I'd want to pay attention to what every one of them tweeted. But once I started following more than a couple dozen, I was skimming more of my twitter feed but reading less. And then my sister (@skeptiwife) introduced me to Tweetdeck and the ability to have lists. My lists are like the "in crowd" of those I follow on Twitter. And if I put you on a list, then I really do care what you have to say. If you're not on a list, then I was just being polite by following you or I had to remove you from a list because your tweets started bugging me (but I didn't want to unfollow you since you had followed me back). And I don't think I'm the only one who uses this subtle culling process. Do you think @twitterismylife4ever, someone who may have tens of thousands of followers pays attention to the tweets of ALL the folks she follows? I could be wrong but I just can't imagine that's even possible. So I reckon, it's all about the lists. So when someone follows me, I secretly think, "Yeah big deal, but did you put me on one of your lists?"

2) Agony of being myself (or trying to)
The folks I love following (and are definitely on my coveted lists) are those that just put it out there. They say what they mean, they mean what they say and they say it exactly how they want to. I have a lot of respect for the likes of @loripop326; you can get a real sense of who she may be from her tweets. No holds barred. But not me. I agonize over my tweets at times. I get myself stuck with "Will anyone think this is funny? Could a potential employer take offense to this? I wonder if I might get an RT or a mention?" Oh how I want to be liked, can you say "neurotic"? I think my Twitter handle would be better as @whatNeedyValWants. I admit I want validation and at times hope Twitter will bring that to me, though I know this is doing it the wrong way around. Brief moments where I tweet without expectation are joyous ones and I hope to get better at being myself, whether or not there's any feedback. Side-note: I can always count on @kaytans and @XS143 for support and feedback but they have to, they're my mom and best mate, respectively.

3) For someone with low self esteem, isn't Facebook a better option?
Having established I'm needy and want validation, I have to admit something that I just don't feel is politically correct to say in the Twitter-verse...Facebook is much more comfortable for me. After all, these are folks you already know (unless you're one of those silly sods who adds anyone and everyone as friends as if their friend count is a contest) and therefore there's an unwritten agreement then that we will support one another in FB world. "Likes", comments and tagging are ways that you can give and receive a lot of feedback. And as I apparently live for feedback, I find Facebook a more comfortable place. Side-note: the best of both worlds is when you can friend folks in both places like @MDuette - I enjoy her tweets and our exchanges on FB.

4) Sorry, what was that? I was miles away...
I dig Twitter for the same reason I prefer texting to phone calls. I can give you attention in short bursts without you wanting a lot more for me. Tweeting under 140 characters, RT's and "mentions" are easy ways to give but still be able to stay pretty self-absorbed. And that works for me. I guess I'm into machine-gun style interaction: short, fast and repeated bursts work for me. It's not that you're boring, it's that I have a short attention span. It's not you, it's me. Side-note: if you post a photo, for any reason, I will look at it, I'm always curious. Just sayin'.

5. I feel like I really know Simon Pegg (@simonpegg)
If you looked at my internet browsing history, you'll see a repetition of visits to celebrity and gossip sites including: tmz, perezhilton, genosworld (aka @genosworld), people.com etc. And that's because I love that kinda stuff. So to be able to follow celebrities is so fun! They post photos, tweet each other (it's like being a voyeur to their chats) and what's more, it's like they're talking to me, to us (is that too Kathy Bates, a "number one fan" type thing?) I'd say I spend more time looking through the twitter feed of my "entertainment" list, than the others. I follow a lot of comediennes too so get to laugh regularly. I steadfastly and stubbornly refuse to believe it's not the actual celebrities tweeting, I mean, it really IS @kathygriffin tweeting and not Tiffany her assistant, right? Side-note: having a celebrity respond to one of your tweets is so satisfying (even though it is rather a ridiculous way of feeling validated but as we've seen, I depend on others for exactly that). So far the only "celebrity" to do that was @EWDaltonRoss (you're welcome Dalton) when he responded to this post. It made my day (and of course I posted it on FB so my friends could share in my delight:

So there you have it. Having spilled my inner thoughts and feelings about Twitter has left me free from the bondage of the secrets. What about you, do you have anything you want to confess about Twitter?

They Talk funny Here, I Swear!

2010-10-05T17:15:00.053+01:00

When I used to teach English as a foreign language, the foreign students would absolutely light up when swear words came up in conversation. Knowing what colorful language is used by locals is fun, whether you speak the mother tongue or not. The British selection of swear words is far superior to the American (not unlike the cheese). After years of living here, I've not only learned new swear words but I have also learned that some American profanity isn't considered as offensive here and vice versa. Here are a few noteworthy expressions/differences:

cock up - A uniquely British expression which describes errors of epic proportions. It can be used as a verb: "My driving test was a nightmare, I cocked the whole thing up!" or as a noun, "I got lost and was over an hour late; what a total cock up!"

bitch - Yes, it is used in the same manner here as we use it in America. i.e. "I can't believe how rude she was, what a bitch!" But here they still use it when talking about female dogs. I asked an elderly woman at the bus stop (while she was petting Abby) if she herself owned any dogs and this sweet old lady replied, "Oh yes, I've got a dog and 2 bitches".

fanny - This one makes Brits giggle. You see, to Americans it's just a cute nickname for a bum. But for Brits, fanny is a very specific word for a vagina. Imagine their shock and laughter at hearing us say, "I've eaten so much my fanny has just tripled in size; hope it doesn't break the chair..." or "I won't bother taking my purse tonight, my fanny pack is just fine."

on my tits - You probably shouldn't say this one in a job interview or anywhere else where you're trying to make a good impression but it is used in every day language and thus isn't really profanity. It means when something really gets on your nerves. "The way he always interrupts her when she's talking, it really gets on my tits."

pissed - In Britain this word on its own simply means drunk, it does not mean angry as it does in America."Man, I had no idea you were such a lightweight, only 2 beers you were totally pissed!" As an American, I have had to train myself on this one because the difference can create huge issues. Example: "Last night on the way home on the motorway this guy cut me off and I was so pissed!"...this means to me (as an American) that I was angry but to a Brit that I was drunk driving!

They Talk Funny Here- Part 3: Same words, different meanings!

2010-08-24T18:06:00.002+01:00

There's more to understanding the English language a la Great Britain than simply learning new words, pronunciation or spelling. Sometimes learning additional meanings of words is required. And I'm here to help with that!

Here are 5 expressions that have additional/different meanings in Britain:

1. barking - Dogs in Britain bark just as they do in America (though the "r" is soft, here they "bahk"...but I digress.) The important thing to note is that "barking" can also be used as an adjective meaning crazy.
Example: "Have you met the next door neighbor? What a whack job, that girl is absolutely barking!"

2. sick - This one often slips me up, even now. If I'm feeling under the weather or like I'm coming down with a cold and I mutter, "I feel sick", most Brits lean back and out of the way. And it's not because they're afraid of germs, it's because they're afraid of the projectile vomit I have just alluded to. Yes indeed, here "sick" can be both the verb or noun meaning vomit.
Example: Maybe he ate something bad yesterday because he was sick at least 3 times during the night.

3. close - This one is on the list because it's been used a lot lately with the strange, summer weather we're having (threatening thunder storms and spurts of rain). "Close" essentially means humid. And since the British love nothing more than chatting about the weather, it's come up in conversation several times lately!
Example: (The following can be said at any stage to strike up conversation with total strangers or as filler when awkwardly chatting with acquaintances) "It's rather close today, isn't it? It feels as if it should rain."

4. wind up - One of my favorite British traits is their unique ability to laugh at each other and themselves. So there are several expressions that mean to get a rise out of someone and "wind up" is one of them. It can be used both playfully and seriously.
Example: "The way he's always criticizing America without ever having been there really winds me up!"

5. pudding - Ask any American to do word association with "pudding" and the following words will always come up though perhaps not in this order: "Jell-O...Bill Cosby...tapioca...gross...who likes that crap?" But none of those reactions would work here. Because in Britain, pudding simply means...dessert.
Example: (Written on the Specials menu at a pub): "Puddings: Apple Crumble, Spotted Dick (heehee), Banoffee Pie (oh god, that is so good), Profiteroles, Sorbet."

Question for you, dear reader: what are some other examples of words/expressions that have additional meanings?

Top Ten Things the Brits Do Better Than Americans

2010-07-05T09:31:00.001+01:00

Americans are proud and probably bigger and louder than the British. And while we may have large, confident personalities, we could learn a LOT from the British. In fact, I've compiled a list of things the British do better than Americans and was thrilled to have guest-posted it on SmittenbyBritain.com.

So click HERE to read my list of Ten Things Brits Do Better Than Americans!

They Talk Funny Here but even FUNNIER in Newcastle

2010-07-02T22:06:00.005+01:00

What do Sting, Cheryl Cole, Ridley Scott and Tony from TheTop10Blog all have in common? If you answered, "They're all famous?" you would be partly correct. The better answer, however, is...they're all Geordies!

According to the Wikipedia entry, "Geordie" is a term used to describe someone from either an area as large as the whole of northeast England, or as small as the city of Newcastle-upon-Tyne. Whichever the case, they have a unique accent and a whole dialect uniquely their own. Inspired by my previous "They Talk Funny Here" posts, Tony from TheTop10Blog has been kind enough to share some of the more memorable and useful Geordie expressions. I, myself, am looking forward to using number 5 as soon as possible:

1) "Gannin doon the toon wi me marras for some dog."
Translation: I am going out with my friends to Newcastle for some Newcastle Brown Ale.

2) "Aa divvin knaa."
Translation: I don’t know.

3) "Howay the lads."
Translation: A football chant used at matches by the fans.

4) "The Toon Army"
Translation: Newcastle United supporters.

5) "Hoy a hammer ower here hinny."
Translation: I say my friend, could you pass me the hammer.

6) "Gannin' tappy-lappy doon the lonnen."
Translation: Prancing down the street.

7) "Haad yer whisht"
Translation: Shut your mouth.

8) "Gannin to the Netty"
Translation: Going to the lavatory.

9) "Divn’t dunchus"
Translation: Please don’t knock into me.

10) "Hadaway and shite"
Translation: I don’t believe what you are saying is true. (Or maybe a firm of Geordie solicitors!)

For further expressions, check out this handy online translator where, with a few simple keystrokes, you too can learn how to speak like a true Geordie! And with that I say, "hev a geet dyah!"
.

Happy Father's Day to my Pop

2010-06-19T20:21:00.004+01:00

Daddy Hands
My Dad has "daddy hands". He's got the kind of hands that make you feel secure, especially as a little girl. I have such a clear and sweet memory of when I was just a little girl, maybe just 4 years old and Dad and I would go wash our hands before dinner. As I picture his daddy hands cupping my little girl hands as we lathered them up in the sink, I feel a sense of warmth and security. And that's what daddies are all about!

It's in His Character
If you asked me to describe my dad, I would definitely include these qualities:
Open-minded - he is unlikely to cast judgment or discount things just on the face of them.
Inquisitive - he likes to learn new things and question new and old ideas.
Kindhearted - he's got such a gentle heart and way about him.
Helpful - he's always been happy to lend an ear, lend a hand or lend his muscles (as my sister can testify to as we both used his great house-moving skills on more than a few occasions!)
Best of all, I know my Dad loves me with all of his heart. He'd do anything for my sister and me.

Imaginary Father's Day
Well we are separated by approximately 7608 kilometers (doesn't sound like an approximation that, does it?) so here's how I'd celebrate my dad if he were here for Father's Day:

We might go for a walk in the New Forest (with Abby)
Drive through the local area and villages
Stop somewhere lovely for a traditional "cream tea"
A bit more scenic driving/walking and exploring all the while chatting away
Walk down to the Elm Tree for a delicious dinner filled with his favs

Wish I could make a fuss of you Dad. Love and miss you!
.

They Talk Funny Here - Part 2 - "10 Things we don't say in America!"

2010-06-17T16:50:00.011+01:00

In a lot of ways, adapting your language for living in the UK is simply learning how words you already use mean different things here. For example, biscuits. In America it means crackers but in the UK it means cookies. But what about expressions or words you've never heard or used before?

1. Dog's bollocks - Well, what better what to exclaim how fantastic something is than by comparing it to the balls of dog? "It was a great night out last night, dinner, dancing and tons of fun, it was the dog's bollocks!"

2. Aubergine - Hint: this is often baked with Parmesan. Yes, aubergine is the British equivalent of "eggplant" and also used for the color. Either way, it's still a disgusting and evil vegetable.

3. Faff about - This one cracks me up whenever I can get a chance to use it. It's often used to exclaim frustration at wasting time or procrastinating. Goes like this, you're trying to corral your teenager out the door; she keeps adjusting her hair, checking her texts, changing shoes and you end up exclaiming, "Let's go, stop faffing about!"

4. Full stop - Try to guess from this context: "I have a new resolution and no more excuses.Starting tomorrow I will go every day. Full stop!" It doesn't actually have much to do with stopping, but it is the equivalent of the American "period". As in, no more going back and forth. It's a done deal. Period. Full stop.

5. Bespoke: This is really handy to know if you're a fan of DIY (do-it-yourself) shows or magazines. It took a while but after watching episode after episode of Grand Designs, I finally got it! "This banister wasn't bought from the standard showroom, it was bespoke based on the client's specific designs." In other words, "customized!"

6. Codswallop - means crap. You hear something ridiculous, "God, what a load of codswallop!"

7. Bob's your uncle - Meaning is best explained as, "and there you go". As in:
You: "I know! I'll send the letter first and then call them. What do you think?"
Me: "Yes, sounds good. Bob's your uncle."

8. Gormless - Can't say I've added this one to my repertoire yet. I only just learned what it meant! It means clueless. And a "gorm" is a stupid person. "He really seems out to lunch, he makes no sense whatsoever. He's totally gormless."

9. Knob, willy, pecker - Are just a couple of the words they use here for penis! They have so many words and expressions here related to male genitalia!

10. Billy no-mates - Someone with no friends. as in, "I was waiting for you guys at the restaurant and for 15 minutes I was alone, I looked like Billy no-mates."
.

They Talk Funny Here - 5 British Expressions You Need to Know

2010-06-07T22:17:00.005+01:00

The joys of living in a foreign land include learning the local language. If you're lucky enough to live in Britain, your American or Canadian English will just get you by, but beware of vast vocabulary differences, in addition to spelling and pronunciation differences.

Here's a quick reference guide for all you visiting the UK, on a few phrases that may confuse you:

1. Chuffed - not to be confused with chapped or chafed, which we can all agree is bad. However, chuffed is a good thing. To be chuffed is to be pleased.
Example: "I was well chuffed with the positive outcome of my project."

2. Pissed - drunk, loaded, three sheets to the wind. Unlike the American definition, this has nothing to do with anger or frustration.
Example: "He can hardly walk straight after 5 pints of beer, he's so pissed."

3. Tits Up - well "tits" means the same here, but can be used with the handy preposition "up" for a new meaning. While you may be thinking that "tits"plus"up" = a good thing, you're mistaken. If something goes "tits up" it means it didn't work out.
Example: "She thought it was all ready but then it went tits up and she got nothing accomplished."

4. Knackered, cream-crackered, shattered - all of these expressions mean to be exhausted. Incidentally "cream-crackered" is the cockney rhyming slang for knackered. If you don't know what cockney rhyming slang is, you can watch this funny Austin Powers' clip for the lowdown, HERE.
Example: "Long day at work, then walked the dog, and then made dinner. I am cream-crackered."

5. Knickers in a twist - knickers means ladies underwear which are also called "pants" here (which is also good to know because if you say to your friend, "Ohhh, I like those pants you're wearing", she will think you're talking about her underwear and thus find you quite creepy). But to have one's knickers in a twist is to be riled up, worried or hyped up. So we usually say this to calm someone down.
Example: "Don't get your knickers in a twist, things will work out just fine."

I will be posting more of these need-to-know expressions in the future so stay tuned!
.

One Ring to Rule them All?

2010-05-27T16:11:00.007+01:00

Let's begin with some word association, except in this case I'll provide your prompts as well as my spontaneous answers:

You: Fashion...
Me: RINGS!!
You: Costume...
Me: RINGS!!
You: Engagement...
Me: diamond RINGS!!
You: Silver...
Me: Oh oh oh, my favorite, SILVER RINGS!

The Power of Rings
I can't say I totally get those who are collectors of things, especially thimbles, salt and pepper shakers, pens and blow up dolls (I'm assuming the latter exists?) But that's not to say I don't relate to a passion about a particular item and want as many as possible. My first "love" was a silver ring I bought when I was about 19. I've never gone for the expensive items, just items that I dig at the time. I still have that first silver ring and so many more! I can never pass a stand or store that has rings. I don't mean traditional jewelry stores; gold bands and wedding rings in general don't pique my interest (unless we're talking HUGE diamonds). I don't buy rings every time I'm shopping at all, I actually am kind of picky about them. But I always have to look. My favorite is chunky and funky silver rings.

Where can I get some of those?
Most of my beloved rings were bought online, actually. If you know your size, it's actually the most efficient way. To get the cross-section of rings I like to have, I'd have to travel far and wide going into endless malls but without near the success. I generally stay away from e-bay as well as I'm wary of the quality and I find dealing with different sellers tedious, though maybe that's just a cop out. Nevertheless, the majority of my (favorite) rings have been obtained from the following 3 sellers:

Silpada: really interesting pieces of all kinds of jewelry. I bought a classy but cool silver and pearl ring from them (which I always wear in job interviews to go with my string of pearls). My sister got me a ring for Christmas from them, a chunky, funky silver ring. The only "downside" with Silpada is you can't shop for yourself online. You need to either have/go to a Silpada party or get your hands on a catalogue and order through a rep. The upside of doing it this way is you probably get great customer service and follow up.

Eve's Addiction: I know it sounds like a porn site but trust me, it's not! I've not purchased from this website directly yet, but Mom gave me a couple really awesome rings for Christmas from this site. The rings are well made and as far as I know she had no issues buying them. My only complaint is that on the website, you can't view the individual rings in new browser windows. The website forces you to click on a ring you're interested and then go back to see the others. In other words, it's not possible to have several tabs open of your favorite rings you're considering. So not that user friendly in that way.

Silvershake: MY FAVORITE! It's a wonder they're still in business because when I moved here two years ago I drastically reduced my ring purchases and they must've wondered how the recession was hitting them a full year before it hit everyone else. Between buying rings for myself others, I kept them pretty busy! I really love the website, the search functions and sort fields are easy. I think the best thing is you can view the ring (or any jewelry item you're interested in) on a mannequin so you can see what the actual size would look like. Plus I've always had excellent service. There were a few occasions where I sent rings back because they just didn't quite look how I thought they would (small percentage considering how many I ordered over the years). If there's a negative to say about them, and I hesitate to say any, it would be sometimes the selection can be a little one-note. But seeing as there are hundreds of styles, I'm not sure that's true. For example, they have a lot of mother-of-pearl items. But in my experience 1 mother-of-pearl ring is plenty. Still, if customer loyalty means anything, I can say I am probably a lifelong fan.

Check out my current collection, with thanks to my friend X for modeling them with me!

I'm interested to know of any other places where you can find awesome rings, so if you know of any, please let me know!
.

How to impress...when signing a card

2010-05-21T23:41:00.010+01:00

Have you ever been given a birthday, good luck or get well card by a group? And isn't it nice that all those people took the time to sign it? But really, did they actually try very hard at all? Is writing, "feel better soon" all that taxing? In my estimation, it took a lot of more effort to supervise the passing around of the card but as for the content? Well let's just say that can leave a little lacking. I'm not hating on group cards, I'm just saying there's a way to shine, to show that you care way more than the rest. And here's how..

All you have to do is rewrite the name of the person receiving the card. You write it vertically and act like their name is an acronym. You know, like NASA, DMB or INTERPOL. You write an adjective next to each letter of their name on the inside of the card. It helps to get ahold of the card early so you can claim a space as your own:

Nice
Excellent
Industrious
Lucky

It sounds like hard work but it isn't, usually you can think of at least one positive (or at least inoffensive) adjective that starts with most letters of the alphabet. Trust me, this will give you new levels of credibility when it comes to your thoughtfulness and general awesomeness. I know what you're thinking, "Valerie, this is so amazing, can I use this technique with personal cards which only I am signing?" Well, you could, but keep in mind this might come across as creepy, in the same ballpark as giving someone one of those "build-a-bear" things. So my recommendation is, to achieve maximum effect, use mainly in group cards.

I have a friend whose first name starts with X and for that, I did need to consult a dictionary. But usually you can do what comes off the top of your head. But feel free to bookmark this blog post, with a handy reference guide below as you start out.

A - alluring, awesome, active (you never know, the card could be for an old person & that's a compliment)

B - beautiful, ballsy (maybe for your brown-nose coworker?), blithesome (it's a good one, I looked it up)

C - caring, considerate, cuddly, cultured, creepy (if it's the mail-room guy who needs to stop stalking you)

D - daring, dynamic, dandy, dazzling, demure, dreamy (you can sprinkle in flirts on the rare occasion)

E - empathetic, energetic, esteemed (for a book-lover maybe), eloquent

F - fun, fabulous, fantastic, fortuitous (maybe he/she is a luck magnet?)

G - great (only if she's an Ellen DeGeneres fan), gregarious, gorgeous, generous, gentle

H - helpful, happy, hilarious, handsome, holy (it could happen)

I - inquisitive, industrious, incredible, indescribable (good if you actually hate them but can't say so)

J - jovial, jiggly (use this one with extreme discretion), jokey, jolly

K - knowledgeable, kind, kick-ass (one of my personal favs)

L- lovely, lively, loyal, luminous, legitimate (he/she could have parental issues, so this could be a big score!)

M - moral, mellow, memorable, mirthful (means "full of gladness and gaiety" dummy!)

N - nice, neighborly (good for when you are trying to get an invite to the next hot tub party), neat, nifty

O - open, original, outstanding, okay (I dare you!)

P - punctual, perfect, patriotic (for a "Happy Flag Day" card, maybe?), practical, positive

Q - quick, quirky, quaint (especially if writing in a English person's card, they love to be called that, really they do!)

R - regal, remarkable, resilient, rational (perfect for the atheist in your midst), real (ya know, like JLo)

S - stupendous (because when do you ever get to use that word?), stellar, splendid, smart, stylish

T - tenacious, terrific, talented, thoughtful, truthful, transgendered (c'mon, we are in 2010 people!!)

U - unbelievable, understanding, unique, ultimate (followed by their WWF moniker of course)

V - venerable,valiant (for the medieval themed cards obviously), valuable, vigorous, versatile

W - wondrous (for when you feel as over the top as you probably look), witty, worldly, welcoming

X - xeric, xanthic (don't worry, they won't know what it means either), Xanadu (just cuz)

Y- youthful, yummy, Yugoslavian (oh dammit, that one doesn't exist anymore, damn you civil war!)

Z - zany, , zippy, zealous (maybe with luck, he/she is member of PETA?)

You're welcome!
.

Two Countries Separated by at Least Ten Things.

2010-05-20T14:59:00.017+01:00

Perhaps Unnecessary Disclaimer: Just in case any of you are prone to sensitivity - for the record, I love the UK; I love living here. I love it so much that I moved back after being away for 10 years (no, not in prison). I also love America and so much of the way of life and the people. In this blog, do I generalize? Oh yes. Do I use stereotypes? Definitely (they're a real time-saver you know). But know I love both countries and have had the absolute pleasure of living in both! Now, for just some of the differences.

1. No "radio-fell-into-bathtub-electrocution-accidents" here
You arrive in England, thrilled to be in this "quaint" country! You're unpacking your suitcase in your "quaint" hotel room and you wonder "Where do I plug in my hair-dryer, I have this awesome plug converter I bought at Walmart?!" You look in the bathroom, naturally, and become perplexed. "Well, there's this one odd outlet for 'electric shavers', is that what hair dryers are called in England?" Sorry honey, you can stop looking. There are NO standard electrical plugs available in British bathrooms. None (at least that I've ever seen). You can't plug in a hairdryer, a curling iron, nothing except an electric shaver. I'm not 100% sure why. Perhaps it's because the electricity voltage is higher here (220 volts, instead of 140 in America)? Whatever the case, I blow dry my hair in the dining room. What can I say, I rarely eat there so chances of my blond locks finding their way onto my dinner plate are very low.

2. Um, where do I put all my stuff?
I don't mind admitting that the stereotype of Americans being materialist has definite truth to it. We Americans are many other things including friendly, helpful, loud and demanding. We also tend to have a lot of stuff. And the thing is, we do because yes we can (Obama had it right)! Most of us live in homes with tons of space, storage, walk in closets (only a minority live in places like NYC where space is at a premium). Britain is a small island and as such, there isn't the same availability of space to liberally store stuff here, there and everywhere. I find the absence of storage areas the most challenging in British bathrooms. It seems a typical bathroom here has a pedestal sink and not so much as a medicine cabinet to stick things in. You rarely meet an unclean or unkept Brit, so I ask myself, "Where do they put all their all their toiletries?" I simply can't work it out. It's as big a mystery to me as Stonehenge.

Typical British bathroom, are there secret storage compartments no one has told me about?

3. Dog-lovin' a la Britannia.
The Brits are dog-lovers, that's true. And Americans are too. This is not the difference I'm referring to. But the British take this responsibility so seriously, they don't get dogs on a whim. I have often heard Brits say, "I'd love a dog, but I'm too busy. I work all day and poor thing would be alone for 8 hours at a time". How lovely that they are so concerned for the dog's welfare. But unless they're talking about puppies (which do require extra time and consideration), I have a somewhat different perspective. Dogs sleep most of the day and seem to easily hold their pee for hours. I would encourage more British to adopt rescued dogs who need good homes, even if they work during the day. Obviously you have to take care of the dogs' needs, but being home all day is to me, an unnecessary prerequisite. I adopted Abby when she was about a year old. And I worked a full time job. She was fine. She slept (and held her pee) all day and when I got home, she'd get a walk, or a trip to the dog park. She was and is a contented dog. It might not work for all breeds and all families but considering how many dogs need homes and how caring the British are with animals, I think there could be more happily-homed hounds here than there are.

Well-traveled Abby loves living in the UK, though it rains more than in her hometown of Phoenix.

4. I'm sorry for living!
Forget everything you think you know about the rules of politeness. Just like driving on the other side of the road, you have to use the opposite logic here in certain social settings. I never thought I'd master this one, but I think I've come a long way. And if I can do it, so can you. Essentially you learn that one must apologize numerous times a day. It becomes second nature, much as breathing does. If you've ever seen National Lampoon's European Vacation, you'll recall the Griswolds are driving in England and run over Eric Idle. Hilarity ensues as Eric repeatedly downplays the severity of the accident (as blood spurts from his arm, "it's only a flesh wound!"), and apologizes for finding his way under their car. To watch the LOL clip, click HERE. For a real-life type example, read the next paragraph. If you get the gist, you can now just skip to number 5.

Here's the situation: let's say someone bumps into you at the grocery store. You, grumpy and cross at the injury, turn and say, "Oh, so sorry!". Yes that's right my dear, sweet, unknowing American friends. You apologize...even when it's not your fault. That's how it works here. It's a weird type of diffuser of angst or aggression. Most likely the person who ran into you with their shopping trolley will apologize in response (which we can all agree is appropriate) but then the two of you will do an awkward but essential social dance as you each apologize more and more profusely to the other. Then you go your separate, peaceful ways.*

*There is one notable exception to this rule. And I warn you now so as not to be shocked by it. The exception occurs when Brits are driving. Behind the wheel of the car, they are transformed into ball-breakers of a new level; one that would make most of us Americans look weak and timid.

5. I tease because I care
One of my favorite things about the British is their sense of humor. I didn't always get it, I think it took me a good couple years for it to really develop. Part of their sense of humor is to tease each other. And they usually make fun of people they're fond of. "Taking the mickey" or "Taking the piss" are two colloquialisms that mean to make fun of. In the States, we do sarcasm, but we often do it as a weapon, a sly dig, even passive-aggressive at times. But not so much here. Sarcasm is most often simply their way of making jokes. Do you know why I don't mind? You will rarely meet a sarcastic Brit who doesn't "take the mickey" out of themselves at least as much as they do others. And this is the great equalizer that helps you know they're not having a go at you, they're just expressing humor. It is so freeing to make fun of yourself, to laugh at even the things that initially make you wince. And the Brits are great at not taking themselves, or others, too seriously.

6. What does a person have to do to get a tumble?
By "tumble" I am referring to...a tumble dryer. If I think of 10 of my English friends, maybe 2 of them have tumble dryers. All 10 will have washing machines by the way, but most don't consider a tumble dryer a must-have (or there is simply no room in the kitchen to have one - most washing machines are in the kitchens here). This I simply refuse to get on board with. Like my insistence that showers are indeed an essential element to a house, so do I consider clothes dryers. Apparently (and I have it on good authority), laundry typically looks like this: after washing their clothes, British folks either put their washing out on the washing line (unless living in a flat) and then (depending on what season it is or how much rain we're having), they finish their clothes by putting them on or near the radiators for final drying. After this, their clothes require ironing! Doing a load of laundry from start to wearability therefore, takes days!! So uncommon is it to have a dryer, the grocery store in town doesn't stock Bounce or any kind of dryer sheet! I have to go to the next city over to get some. Oh no, I cannot abide this. I won't, I WON'T, I tell you!

My little dryer (which isn't even big enough to dry sheets in) is, next to my dog, my most prized possession!

(By the way, I'm in no way saying my obstinacy is healthy nor that the British way of a laundry isn't more eco-friendly and in some ways better. I'm just saying when it comes to this issue, I'm simply immovable!)

7. Non-smokers' cough.
More people smoke here. Like a lot more. A ton more. Taking the clothes dryer example and reusing it, for every 10 friends I have here, I reckon only 2 of them are non-smokers. Only recently was it made illegal to smoke in restaurants and pubs etc. In fact, I have a friend who's 35. She remembers a time when you could smoke in the movie theaters here. I find that shocking that she's younger than me but in her lifetime, smoking was allowed in the cinema. There's no real adjustments one can make over here. More people do it, so you get used to it. But when carpooling, I'll often volunteer to drive because not only am I naturally a control freak, I also like a car that doesn't smell of cigarettes (though wet dog smell I am obviously okay with. Go figure!)

8. Service Schervice
Customer service has come on leaps and bounds since my "first life" in the UK during the 1990's. Back then it was appalling. So much has improved. Kudos Britain! However, compared to the States, it still has a long way to go. I had one of the worst meals ever at my local pub. I told the waiter, who shrugged. I told the bargirl when it was time to pay and she charged me for it. And yet I still paid the money. And I've been resentful ever since. I mean sore, p'ed off to the extreme. And so I've realized there's something worse than bad customer service: having an American (and unrealistic) expectation of excellent service but the British disposition to not complain or make a scene. Welcome to my life.

9. Sorry, I must have wax in my ears. How much vacation time did you say I get?
When I moved here two years ago, I had a job with the UK branch of the same company I worked for in the states. In my UK employment contract, along with 8 bank holidays (which, by the way, included Boxing Day - which is the day after Christmas), were a whopping 25 days' vacation (called "holiday" here). 25! Yes, that's like 5 weeks. I wasn't a CEO; I was nobody special. I was an average professional and right out the gate, I had 5 weeks' vacation time, plus 8 bank holidays. Are you kidding me? AMAZING. When I tell Brits the average US worker gets 2 weeks off a year (until they've been somewhere for like 10 years when they may get 3), their jaws drop. To the floor. Yes, that's right. The taxes may be higher, but for my money, a country with nationalized health AND that kind of vacation allowance makes for a pretty nice standard of living!

10. Let me just call an ambulance...right after I put the kettle on.
What isn't made better by a nice cup of tea, I ask? Nothing. Pick any situation, any occasion, any day of the year (even a heat wave) and whether good, bad or indifferent, a good cup of tea simply improves it. Enough said.

Additional Images courtesy of:
http://www.housetohome.co.uk
http://pure-essence.net
http://www.arxvaldex.com/
http://tulsatimeapr.files.wordpress.com
http://i.dailymail.co.uk
.

Perfection Paralysis, Personally Speaking

2010-05-08T15:02:00.022+01:00

Is it just me? Or do you too suffer from the mind's amazing capacity to have creative and inspired ideas only to feel crippled by the very same mind's expectations of perfection and certain failure?

With the creation of my new website (whatvaleriethinks.com), I was doing something for fun, something that I felt passionate about, namely movies, TV, books...entertainment basically! Having been told for several years that I had a way with words (though usually by my family, so I always took it with a pinch of salt), I thought, "Yeah, I'm going to have a website on which I can focus my writing and maybe it'll start getting some traction".

The Fluffy Pink Cloud Effect
So far so good. I looked forward to everything I watched or read with thoughtful consideration of what I would post about it. Around this time, I started to pick up a few freelance writing jobs, which was so exciting and before I knew it, I was considering myself a bit of a blogger, bit of a writer, bit of a freelancer! Woohoo!

Add to that, my friend X and my sister Shannon are both really into Twitter so about a month ago I entered the Twitter-sphere (@whatvalthinks) and found there is a vast amount of information and inspiration at my very fingertips. I could also tweet links to my new site with my reviews and hopefully get some non-family and friends folks to read what I write. It was working. Yay me, yay all of us!

And that's when...it all started to turn.

Like Lord of the Rings: A Dark Shadow Spreads from the East
What "it" turned into is what I can only describe as my own Valerie-specific meltdown. My perfectionism emerged with new strength as never before. Now unlike some people, my perfection does not manifest in a need to do until I get it perfect. Ohhhhh nooo, mine manifests with paralysis. If I can't do it perfectly, I become paralyzed by fear. I became racked with pressure I should be the best and since that's impossible, the only other option is to do nothing. Who's with me???

My mind got in this rut of messages that were saying, "You've missed the boat...You're behind the social media times...everyone else has a great blog but yours is just a pipe-dream".

Even worse, what had once been inspiration, now became reminders of my "doomed-to-fail" future. Useful articles by successful bloggers now had a subtext that only I could see, such as "6 Tools & Tips to Help You Improve Your Blog Posts" read to me as, "6 Tools You'll Never Do Well Enough, Valerie, and why Your Blog is Doomed to Fail". Or how about this latest one, "The 10 Websites To Get Your Articles Discovered!" which actually meant to me, "10 Websites You'll Never Succeed in Getting Your Articles on because You, Valerie, are Just Not Plain Good Enough!"

Pretty heavy, isn't it? It was wearing me down, for sure, this constant self-doubt. And for a time, it actually halted all progress I was making (or so it seemed).

The Cool Balm of Identification
All was not lost, thank goodness! It turns out, it's not just freakish ME that experiences these types of insecurities when it comes to writing. Turns out many (maybe most even?) bloggers and writers out there suffer much of the time with this secret belief that they're not good enough and they're going to get found out. Who knew? I came across a blog entry written by someone who was expressing the same sense of "I don't belong in this group" and yet is also making a living doing it!

What Now, Brown Cow
Knowing I'm not alone in this peculiar writer's mental-prison has helped no end. And now I'm no longer paralyzed (well for today anyway). I'm back into taking action; action that's manageable and also enjoyable. Choosing to live in a perspective of abundance and that there is plenty in the universe for me, for you and really for all of us. And if my writing is only a hobby and occasional freelance job, that's okay too. It's helping me grow in all kinds of ways, even if it doesn't become a big, huge, successful business. Expectations are now more realistic.

Further, I'm trying to get out of my own way, so to speak. And as a friend was talking about just this morning, he doesn't always know what he's supposed to do, so he just tries to do the next right action. So that's my motto for today, just doing the next right action, one at a time.

A huge thanks to not only my family and friends, but to wise bloggers like Diana Adams, Brian Clark and Darren Rowse for offering up such helpful articles and links. All of you have helped more than you know, thank you!

Images courtesy of:
http://travel.webshots.com/
http://www.japanator.com/
http://www.dartheart.org
.

The kindness of commenting

2010-04-30T00:32:00.007+01:00

I recently labeled myself. No, not what you think. "Loud American" was already taken and let's face it, rather redundant. But I am, I have decided, a "blogger". Truth is I've been blogging about my life and sharing details (possibly more than I should) on this very blog for several years. With my newly created website with all new content: www.whatvaleriethinks.com, I have become legit. I...am...a blogger!

And with that new status, I thought I'd share something you may not know. We bloggers are desperate for your attention, time and if possible, your approval (though the latter is a luxury rather than necessity). The use of free Google Analytics mean I can see how many visits my blogs have and how long the average stays on the sites are (if I've put the analytics code in the right place, but let's face it, I'm no programmer). And being as lucky as I am, I have friends and family who not only compliment me on my blogs but that they also know of other people (non family and friends) who read them. I mean, non friends and family read and like them, so cool! So this is all great stuff. But there simply is no better feeling or validation than when someone posts comments on the blog itself.

This longing for feedback and reader reaction has only increased with my ever increasing blog posting. In addition, this means I try really hard to remember to make the time and effort to comment on blogs when I read them. Mind you, the ones I'm commenting on are well established blog with loads of comments (unlike mine...yet!) but I still like to do unto others as I'd have them do unto me.

What posting comments means to me is that what I'm writing is somewhat interesting; interesting enough, at least, that someone has taken time to read it and let me know they've done so by leaving a few words. So next time you're reading this or any other blog, consider:

1. clicking on the "comment" link
2. entering a brief comment, most bloggers don't require identifying info to do that
3. signing your name, well your first name anyway. I've had comments where it's obvious I knew the person but for the life of me couldn't place them based on their comments alone.
4. knowing you're really helping that blogger to feel inspired and that writing is worthwhile.

I thank you in advance!

Image courtesy of:
http://blog.tamtamy.com/
.

BIG NEWS!

2010-04-17T09:40:00.004+01:00

Those of you who read my blog have given me so much great feedback and support. As a result, I've taken on a new and fun project. If you like my take on entertainment; books, movies, TV, even shopping, I've started a new blog expressly designed to cover just such topics! Visit, comment and even tell me what you think I should review!

www.whatvaleriethinks.com

PS Follow me on twitter: @whatvalthinks

What makes a "number one fan"?

2010-04-08T15:18:00.008+01:00

I am a Warehouse member. No, not the music store that was huge in the 80's and has since closed down but I am a member of the Dave Matthews Fan Club (called The Warehouse) because the perks include advance ticket purchases for their concerts. The longer you're a member, at least the general consensus is, the better your seats are.

When I tell friends how many DMB concerts I used to go to when I lived in Los Angeles, non-DMB fans think I'm obviously a number one fan. In fact, I'd buy tickets to any and all shows going in LA (there were only usually 2) and some years got tickets to shows up in San Francisco or San Diego. Little do those friends realize that REAL fans take the summer off and "go on tour" with the band (as they are often college kids who can do that kind of adventure!)

I renewed my membership last year even though I am living here in the UK. Why? Because I got an email saying concert dates and tickets for the UK were going on sale. And thus I got my tickets to their show in Wolverhampton last June! This year the tickets were for March (so we would be able to avoid the heat wave that was on during last year's show!) and this time in Manchester. I decided to make a weekend out of it so flew up to Manchester for a long weekend of hanging with my northern friends and on a cold but dry Sunday, Jill, Lucie and I headed to the DMB show.

Opening number, "Proudest Monkey"

The show in Manchester was great. Half of the songs they did seemed to be slow and mellow so while I love those, they're not my favorite, I prefer to dance and groove throughout the concert. It was a standing venue, but once we got there, we only had to wait about 15 minutes before they came on. Tim Reynolds tours with them now and yes, the man is reallly talented, but I'm not a big fan of his electric guitar jams, electric guitar doesn't do it for me.

"Funny the Way It Is"

So I'm a big fan, this is true. But am I a "number one fan?" I decided to keep track of set list (real fans at concerts can easily recount what the set lists were of the previous night's shows, it's kinda of weird). But I wanted to see if I could name the songs. Not only could I NOT name all the songs, I couldn't remember which albums which songs had been on. For the songs I didn't know the name of, I made notes (all on my iPhone), such as: "Mystery bluesy song with lyrics such as 'you ain't gonna have my cornbread'". I thought a real fan would come home and jump on the computer to find out the names of the 6 "mystery" songs I couldn't name. Once again proving I'm not a REAL fan (or perhaps I am simply sensible) I did no such thing.

Next year, I don't care what level fan I am, I will endeavor to get tickets for shows in London, maybe if there are two shows, I'll do a double whammy a la the Los Angeles concerts of ol' and stay the night. I will not be worrying about naming songs but I WILL listen to their new album more and more because they play those songs a lot (and they are excellent) and I just hate it when I don't know the words to sing along to! Pic here shows me accompanying Dave's lead vocal during "41".

(PS Follow me on Twitter @whatvalthinks)

When I grow up I want to be Dalton Ross

2010-03-22T12:38:00.006Z

When I grow up I want to be Dalton Ross. I know you're scratching your head in confusion firstly because you're wondering if I'm actually a very mature looking 17 year old with my whole life ahead of me. Answer: no, I am still late 30's with only half my life ahead of me. Or maybe you've quickly tried to Google "Dalton Ross" or even checked Wikipedia (he doesn't have his own entry, sacrilege)!

Let me clarify my statement by saying I don't want to be him, I just want to be in his job. I want to do what he does.

At a company I worked at several years ago, I found a few others who had a passion for Survivor. Then I found a few more who liked a good wager. And voila, we had our own Pictage Survivor Pool! It was dead easy, 18 survivors, 18 employees paying in $5, one winner takes all. Incidentally, this spawned an Amazing Race Pool which was much more detailed with employees choosing 3 teams and an accruing point system to win the whole lot. Who says I can't crunch numbers? Anyway, my favorite part of the Survivor Pool was writing my own recaps of the previous night's Survivor episodes. I included what happened, my take on what happened and evidently they were quite entertaining (some folks asked to be on my weekly recap email distribution list, even though they didn't even watch the show) and that is exactly what Dalton Ross does. Plus the dude is funny. Oh and when I say that is "exactly" what Dalton Ross does, I should clarify. Dalton gets paid, certainly has Jeff Probt's cell number, gets to interview the voted out Survivors oh and he ALSO gets sent (and paid, did I mention PAID) to visit the Survivor camps before filming starts to meet the survivors. His videos and commentary are all on the Entertainment Weekly site. However, to be fair (to me) what he doesn't do that I did is take still shots from the show and add funny captions. Nope, that was alllll me. Ideally, I'd maybe even hang out with him at the office most mornings where we could dissect the latest reality TV carnage from the night before. And since there's only one Dalton Ross job, we would each go to a parallel universe to write his recaps.

(Season finales would often find little Survivor gifts on the pool participants' desks the next morning. Here's one of the favs which we all got the season of Men vs Women from the Survivor Elf)

Dalton's recaps of Survivor make me laugh out loud, he notices the little things I notice, loves the game and loves to dissect it, all while making me smile with his self-deprecating humor. I don't want to paint Dalton as a one note-guy because oh no, that's not all he writes about. He writes about anything I might also write about including movies and TV (reality TV seems to be his preference and again, I'm thinking "ME TOO"!) Further, he has recently been on some of the morning shows (CBS This Morning etc) and I now follow him on Twitter, you can too by clicking here.

Not only is he funny in writing, he's funny in video. During several seasons of Survivor he did Survivor Talk, the day after someone was voted off which could be watched on the Entertainment Weekly website. From the videos, it looks like he has an actual office (in NYC I think), which tells me he works for an actual company and gets paid and actual check.

By the way, Jeff Probst also writes a funny and insightful blog every week after Survivor airs, but let's be clear, I don't want his job, I want Dalton's! Oh and I follow Jeff on Twitter too. Come to think of it, Survivor is a major theme re: who I follow on Twitter...Ethan Zohn, Jenna Morasca...yes, indeed, there is a pattern.

To recap (haha, thank you, I'll be here all night), I have found what I'm meant to be doing: watching TV and getting paid to write about it. Where can I get that gig?

Big Country Living

2010-03-02T19:38:00.012Z

Calling Britain a "big country" is like calling Lady Gaga self-conscious. However, as I took Abby for a walk on this cool, soon-to-be-spring evening, through farms and country lanes, lyrics came to mind (maybe because it came on while I was listening to my iPod?):

I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert,
But I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime..
And in a big country, dreams stay with you,
Like a lover's voice, fires the mountainside..
Stay alive..

Whatever happened to them? Oh yeah, tragedy. Okay, moving along...

I live in Ringwood, Hampshire and have enjoyed it since the day I moved here almost a year ago. Within a mile there is a highway (called a dual-carriageway), the New Forest, small lakes, shops, cafes, farms, good pubs, a growing circle of friends. What's more, it's just a 20 minute drive to Bournemouth. Taking Abby for a walk tonight reminded me how rural(ish) life really suits me! How so, you ask? Well for starters...

1. Local Architecture

I enjoy looking at all the different homes as I walk Abby. The area isn't that built up and houses do differ here from road to road. Mom and I used to enjoy looking at the lovely homes in Redondo Beach (I still maintain that how people light their homes is truly indicative of their mental state: recessed lighting = happy, fluorescent strip lighting = serial killer) and so it's only natural I would continue to enjoy regarding all the homes here.

As lovely as cottages are, with thatched roofs and all, I don't actually think I'd choose to live in one (if I had the freedom to choose a dream house, that is). For me, cottages can be so dark and cramped. Picturesque from the outside, a tad claustrophobic on the inside.

2. Doing the Shuffle

99.9% of the time I'm on my iPhone while walking (phone calls, audio books or music). Some of the areas I walk Abby are kind of secluded. So I've been known to break out in dance (well known just to me, so does it still count, I wonder?). I do it suddenly and scare the begeezuz out of Abby but she soon gets used to it (and tries to stay out of the way of my awesome moves). How can you not when Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again" or Chubb Rock's "Treat'em Right" start playing? Tonight I was grooving to the Glee soundtrack (is it me or is the arrangement of Artie's rendition of "Dancing with Myself" pretty dang awesome?)

Locals are friendly, too.

3. Name...that...House!

No matter what sized home, it seems that people in the country like to give their homes proper names. Just to be clear, you can name your house pretty much anything you want! Note: I don't think you should be allowed to call your home "Oak Cottage" when it's made of brick. I'm just saying). A name doesn't take the place of your actual address (satellite navigation doesn't care if you punch in "Countess Cottage, Ringwood") but yet, it seems to be the thing to do. So during my big, country walks, I get to brainstorm house names for myself! Since Valhalla (as in Val-holler!!!!!) is taken (see above pic), I'm considering Abigail-Tan Manor. The pic above is just a few of the name signs I saw just this evening alone!

Abby is my constant companion, she's the reason I often go for walks but some days I think I benefit even more then she does. A few times a week I take her on off-leash walks out in the country and most of those wide open spaces are just 5-10 minutes in the car. Gone are the days of dog parks (with Starbucks in hand) of our life in Los Angeles, but if Abby could understand and communicate (Rich maintains she can), she'd say she loves living in the big, open country too. So this evening, with cup of tea in hand, I say 'thank you' to my big country and see you tomorrow on another walk!

Bookin' it Baby!

2010-02-25T16:11:00.003Z

I'm a huge fan of Kathy Griffin and have been since her Bravo TV show started. I've seen her comedy specials and even got to see her in person (thanks Rich!) 2 years ago. I recently started following her on Twitter. So I was thrilled when she published this book and couldn't wait to get it (and in fact purchased it before Santa could send it to me for Christmas, so Santa had to read it herself!) I got the audio book version which, if you really like Kathy, is the ONLY way to go. Why? Because she "reads" her book in the best way, it's like you're just sitting with her and she's telling anecdotes. It's so natural and so her. Love it! She doesn't hold back on anyone or herself. She shows heart too. And yes, it's LOL funny but she also shares honestly about painful things too, including her marriage and divorce to Matt, the compulsive eater, compulsive liar (and something compulsive that's yet unnamed, I mean, where's that $70K Matt!?) to whom she talks about quite fairly and well-balanced. The worst part of the book? When it ended.

Wishful Drinking attracted me because I like Carrie Fisher but I loved the book cover! Cracks me up every time I see it. It was kind of an odd read because it challenged my opinions on things I don't know much about, like shock-therapy as a treatment for severe depression and the loss of memories. I had no idea before reading it that she had done that, so it took be aback a bit at first. I enjoyed her self-deprecating humor and her candor. Love that kind of honesty. It didn't have a lot of meat to it, so I wouldn't suggest you run out and buy it, but you could check it out from the library. I did, however, also decide to follow her on Twitter as a result and enjoy her blog.

Of the four books I'm writing about today, this was the biggest surprise and delight. Yes, I'd heard the headlines of the "big" things the book Game Change exposes, but this book offers so much more! I'm not a politico; as a member Joe Public I feel quite numb and apathetic about politics and definitely politicians. But this...this was different. This is an insider's view of Obama, the Clintons, McCain, Palin of the party nominations and presidential campaigns. WOW. It was such a page turner. I appreciated the authors' note at the beginning on how they approached this project, the timing, the number of people they interviewed and it's written as a real political drama. It also offers a deep look into what makes (or at least made) the candidates tick. I also was struck by how even and balanced it seemed to be. I didn't get the impression that any one of the candidates was actually a secret favorite of the authors. I've already bought it for someone's birthday (another American) because she will, I hope, enjoy it as much. I highly recommend it.

I am just finishing this mammoth book. Another case of the audio book possibly being the best way (for someone like me) to read it. Why? The author seamlessly weaves the stories of those who dropped the bombs on Hiroshima and Urikama (better known as the bigger area of Nagasaki) and at least one or two dozen survivors' experiences. But keeping in mind all but one of the survivors written about included are Japanese (if you exclude those in the US planes who dropped and monitored the bombs), their names are one thing to get used to and keep track of. And the detailed, graphic and incredible descriptions (especially in the first chapter) of the physics of the fission in an atomic bomb, broken down into nanoseconds of what happens in the atmosphere, air and organic materials, how the flash comes, the heat waves, the shock waves (and the intense energy of those), shock cocoons, gamma rays...it was a lot to hear and take in and for me, might've been too hard to comprehend if reading it. Kind of the way Lord of the Rings Trilogy can be laborious. It is horrific, I won't lie, but also fascinating (like the way forensics in crime solving is gruesome yet captivating). I was also struck by how the slightest little moments of "chance" meant the difference between life and death. For example, there is a story of two friends, little boys playing outside before school began. They were playing in front of a low brick/cement fence. Because one little boy dropped a coin, I think it was, he bent down to pick it up and therefore for a brief moment was shadowed by the short wall. Only his shoulder was exposed. At that exact moment that the flash of the bomb occurred, the little boy next to him ceased to be and was carbonized in a flash. However, the boy who had bent down at that exact moment survived the initial flash with burns only on his shoulder. Loads of little examples like that. It doesn't end happily, the heat wave and radiation meant his life was very short, but there were some miraculous survivors, including one man who survived Hiroshima only to rush home to wife and children in Nagasaki and survive that blast (and lived a long life, though his children suffered with leukemia). While it's not a major theme, the indoctrination of the Japanese of honor in death, fight to the end etc, is touched upon and one can't help but wonder if the dropping of the bombs did prevent an extremely brutal and extracted war in Japan itself. I don't have an opinion on that, who I am to have one? I wasn't there and I'm not a historian, but it did occur to me as I read it. And so attached to Dr. Akizuki and Dr. Nagai, as well as Tomiko Yamaguchi (the double-bomb survivor) I became, I googled them to find out more. NPR did a 30 minute peace on the book, which I recently listed to, on Talk of the Nation. If you want to listen to it, click here. Not sure if it does it justice, as I listened to it after reading the book. New phrases like "fire worms" "ant people" and "flash print" as well as the hope you are wearing white clothing if in the vicinity of the heat rays of an atomic bomb are forever etched into my brain. No, not light reading but still excellent and worthwhile reading.

The Birth of a NEW Movie Club?

2010-02-21T20:43:00.014Z

Once upon a time, three friends and I had a "movie" club. I was living in Phoenix and the three of us (Eric, August and Marti) would go to the movies every weekend, usually Saturday matinees though we were flexible as sometimes we did it on Sundays. I distinctly remember seeing The Mummy (loved it), Tomb Raider (hated it) and loads of other movies. It was just cool knowing every weekend we could see whatever movie was opening, seeing it at 11am or so meant we still had the rest of the weekend to do our other tasks/errands.

I sort of recreated that up in Manchester, with a larger circle of friends and we'd see movies on Saturday evenings most of the time. But since moving back down south I haven't been to the movies once, until today! My friend Sarah and I finally met after having to reschedule after I was ill a few weeks ago, our plan to see Sherlock Holmes in Bournemouth (click on the movie poster if you want to see the trailer). I enjoyed it so much that I may see if I can start my third movie club (membership guidelines apply) but it would be on Sundays, if I were to do it.

We were seeing it at the Odeon cinema in Bournemouth where 15 years ago or more I went to more than a few movies during my "first life" here. And I can report they've done nothing to remodel or freshen the decor since that time. And the seat cushions were definitely no better. Not so great. But as the trailers started, I whispered to Sarah that we pick our favorite trailer and go see that movie next. Before going onto Sherlock Holmes, here were the previews (click on their names to view the trailers if you are curious):

The A-Team - I giggled a few times during the trailer but Liam Neeson as Murdoch? REALLY? I had trouble getting past his bad American accent (and bad hair and make up come to think of it) in Taken, so he may be a deal-breaker for me.
Prince of Persia - Jake Gyllenhaal with long hair. Yuck. Action looked pretty awesome. Unless totally panned by critics, this might be my first choice of the list to see.
Iron Man 2 - Mickey Rourke looks amazing as the bad guy. But I wasn't hugely impressed with the first film so I'm on the fence on the sequel.
Robin Hood - I swear, if you had just shown me the video without the audio, I'd have said I was watching scenes from Gladiator. Except more trees. But at least I know Gladiator was awesome and it's the same director as well, so maybe it'll be good? This was Sarah's choice to see next.
Clash of the Titans - Trailer showed no dialogue, no story, only huge action scenes which makes me think the movie is just kinda crappy.

Sherlock Holmes, according to Rotten Tomatoes has a 69% on the Tomatometer. I'd heard it had good action, fun performances, was a bit spastic and there was that supposed homo-erotic subtext between Holmes and Watson. And I suppose I can now think about the movie and identify all of those things, but during the film I was just in pure enjoyment. If you've ever watched The Mentalist, Monk or Psych, you'll enjoy how Holmes solves all the mysteries (small and large). Set in 19th century London, I was struck by how vividly the city was portrayed. It seemed so real, it felt as if you were right there in the boom of the industrial revolution and Victorian era. However, at the end of the movie when they're in the sewers of the Houses of Parliament to suddenly pop up at Tower Bridge (under construction), I turned to Sarah and said, "ummm, they're not exactly next to each other in real life!" to which she giggled and agreed. You have to get on the tube, take a bus or walk over a good 90 minutes to get from one to the other!

I will also tell you the only thing that niggled at me is how the villain struck me as Stanley Tucci but yet his voice was different. And this villain was kind of sexy, in a Imotep-in-The-Mummy-sexy. I could've sworn it was him and I was distracted on occasion thinking "but how did they alter his voice?" It wasn't until credits rolled that I read it wasn't Stanley Tucci at all, but it was Mark Strong. I was way off! I remember being as adamant that the actor who played Mouse in The Matrix was a kid I had gone to elementary school with in Canada named Keiran. And I made my boyfriend wait until every credit had rolled...and alas, it wasn't him...unless he changed his name....but the likelihood is that I am just not as good at recognizing actors as I would like to think.
Overall, I definitely recommend it and would suggest you see it while in theaters or on a big TV at home once it's on DVD. Good times!

A big notch in my (seat) belt!

2010-02-16T19:10:00.006Z

Whilst it's not a "WOOHOO" with the enthusiasm I would give an awesome job offer, my "yippee" is nonetheless powerful, if compact. To actually pass my UK driving test...what an achievement!

Passing the US driving test, on the other hand, was a breeze, a dawdle, hardly worth remembering...or perhaps there was just so little expected of me as a student driver, I can't recall much of it. I was 16 and had done a "Driver's Education" course in high school which meant an actual driving test was not required, not even the drive-in-and-out-of-orange-cones kind! I did have a "written" test which totaled...wait for it...TEN multiple choice questions. My biggest fear around getting my US license is what would the photo look like on it? I mean, I was 16, so vanity was as prevalent as bad skin and big bangs (or a big "fringe" for UK readers). And it is on this hard-won license that I drove during my "first life" in the UK. I believed, as was commonly known (but never verified by me), that every time you entered the UK an invisible 365 day countdown would begin in which I could legally drive on my US license. And since at that time I was going back to the states every year, those 365 days would re-set. Of course, now I know it's not about exiting and entering the country, it's supposed to be that within a year of making the UK your residence, you are expected to get your UK license. And this important fact only became known to me a mere 4 weeks ago, when a friend (and an American to boot) urged me to see about the license situation. Well, not only have I been here over a year, my US license expires on my birthday anyway, making it invalid here end of March. And thus began an intense and rather hurried process of getting my license.

And yes, I am an experienced driver of over 20 years, but the standards here for passing...I mean are these the same standards for being employed by Scotland Yard or something? Crikey! SO HIGH! First stop was passing my written test which was 50 multiple choice and 14 video scenarios where you have to identify the potential hazards as you drive along it. I utilized the CDs my instructor lent me and that was a god-send. I read the highway manual but it was the CDs with the mock test questions and even a Hazard DVD you could practice with. And I passed with flying colors. Then came the "Practice" driving test, which means actually doing it, not that it's a practice, practice test. You follow?

In total I have spent 6 hours (3 x two hour blocks) with Jo, an awesome task-master, uh, I mean instructor, as she corrected me on every single thing I didn't do or did wrong and there are a million! After each lesson I felt demoralized and sure I wouldn't pass within time. This morning, on the morning of the test, she was so generous that she squeezed in 45 minutes with me to just drill me on my "maneuvers". Of the list, the examiner would ask me to do 2-3.What are these maneuvers I speak about you ask? They are:

Bay parking (parking in a space but doing it in reverse)
Parallel parking (but not between two cars, behind one and the imaginary car behind you, for liability sake, they don't actually have people park between cars)
Turn-around in road (aka a 3-point turn)
Reverse around corner (who ever DOES this? When is this the right maneuver to make, I ask myself?)
Emergency Stop

These don't sound so bad, I hear you saying. Well just know that in every one of them, there are at least 5 instances of putting the emergency break on, 4 of doing pronounced 360 degree view turns, 3 checking of blind spots and at least 1 "oh shit" (okay, that was just my experience). And you have to do them in a certain order. Like Olympic athletes, there are set routines and you have to do them every time. And to bump a curb, touch a curb, scrape or cast a shadow on a curb is an "automatic fail". So while I am experienced, I have experienced plenty gentle "oh there's the curb" bumps when parallel parking etc.

In addition to this, there are all the ways to get deductions, choosing the wrong lane in a roundabout, not going "Mirror, Signal, Maneuver" (in that order only, people!!) of not checking your rear-view and right side mirror every time you: turn onto a new road, increase speed, decrease speed, see a hazard (need to check to see how your decision can impact others) and probably 10 other times when you have to check the dang mirrors. I ended up feeling rather spastic by just checking every mirror every time (including my compact mirror, maybe that was overkill, but I wanted to be prepared for any instance!) I also learned that I was using my indicator (which is the UK word for "signal") way too much and the legal use is much more limited. Frustratingly, as a "learner" driver, I was not to move my hands from the steering wheel (except changing gears, emergency break, wipers) so when a motorist is letting you go or if you are letting someone go, you can't wave them or flash them. I had to give the biggest smile and hope they could see me. Because I'm British, no matter what I may say, and I was sooooo uncomfortable that I might come across as an impolite driver!

Before you begin your test, the examiner does an eye-sight test and proceeds to ask you two "show me/tell me" questions, all related to operating your vehicle, what's under the hood (bonnet), how to check gauges, how to do basic things in the car and what the tires should be like etc. My instructor gave me a list of the questions they might ask and I memorized them all in preparation. The ones he gave were dead easy so that was a good start.

In the end, my examiner was an older man who was quite a flirt. We just chatted away, he didn't take one note or do one thing except give me the instructions (like, for example, asking me to pull over; the test requires this be done 5 times. WHY?) and asking me loads of questions and I made sure to ask about him. We chatted about his family, America (he's never been), Abby. It was quite pleasant! I had to do a reverse-around-corner which was my biggest worry (I had a hit and miss record in my practice tries) but he seemed satisfied and then the only other one was bay parking (thank goodness for the years of preferring to back into parking spaces). I didn't have one deduction and as soon as he was out of the car I updated Facebook with what I had fiercely been hoping for all morning, "PASSED"!

Next week I will be doing a Speed Awareness Course because even though I JUST got my new license, I have already accumulated 3 speeding tickets since moving here. I've always paid the fines, because that's what is the right thing to do, but I was awfully bummed when the government managed to connect those (on my US license) to my brand new license. I'm used goods, man! Oh well, at least I'll be the teacher's pet in the course, as it's alllll so fresh in my mind!

I'm baaaaaaack

2010-02-06T22:29:00.017Z

...and where have I been, you ask? I've been on Facebook! And don't get me wrong, any of you who know me know I am still on Facebook...a LOT. But I miss my blogging days and it's kind of strange that when I've had a lot of time to write it, I've just not. Maybe I haven't been sure what to talk about, but I am today reaffirming my commitment to the blog-gods that I will update this regularly and try to be witty, giddy and wise. Or something to that effect! What prompted this return to my roots? I'm sitting at home (and logged into Facebook of course)...my friend Xenia is at her house and we are chatting (by the way, FB chat is a really sucky application, just hiccups and stalls all applications) but anyway, we're each watching Independence Day and chatting about it. I sent her a link to a past blog entry that I thought was apprapo and inspired by the movie. And I realized I used to write all the time; I would have ideas during the day and look forward to putting them in blog form.

So, let's see...holding pattern is still in effect. I'm hoping a shift is coming soon and god knows I'm putting in the effort and really trying! In the meantime, I'm thoroughly enjoying living in Ringwood; I regularly bump into people I know in town and I love my quiet, cozy little house here. But for the right opportunity, I'll absolutely relocate. One thing I've learned during my moves is you can create cozy homes anywhere...as long as the interior lighting isn't too harsh! Nobody likes THAT!

Since my last post where I mentioned a visit from Mom and Shannon, I was lucky enough to have another visit, my pop! He flew in from Vancouver (he should write a blog about that journey from hell!) and stayed with me over Christmas. We did some walking, a bit of sightseeing (he really got to know Salisbury!), lots of eating and chilling out. He was very generous with his time and presents and I am very lucky indeed to have such a loving Dad! I hope that next Christmas I will be visiting the states, hopefully getting to spend a few days in LA with friends there as well as a long visit to family and friends in Phoenix.

Big upcoming events. Well, I will be looking forward to the Superbowl tomorrow night. Doesn't start until 10:55pm here, but I am staying up late tonight (Saturday) in the hope I can do the same tomorrow. I'm rooting for Peyton and Colts. I tell you, I can smell the testosterone when he's calling out the calls just before the snap! I'm not hugely keen on his accent but his machismo makes up for it! Bummed the Cardinals and Cowboys lost in such spectacular fashion but such is life. Last year Lucie and I stayed up to watch and the Cardinals were sooooo close! So that's on Feb 7 and then one month later to the day, I'll be in Manchester for Dave Matthews Band! I went last summer (also with Lucie, pictured in front of the band, kind of) and saw them in Wolverhampton (near Birmingham). I Facebooked our status throughout! It was so exciting and we were sooooo close. Well, WE weren't so close, but the venue was so...so intimate shall we say...that we were all so close. I hear the venue Manchester is a good one, so looking forward to it. I'll be flying in for the weekend, seeing friends etc., and then going to the concert that Sunday (March 7) with Lucie but also joining us this time will be Jill and Lesley, all soul-sisters from up north. Hopefully I can convert them to being DMB fans!

I also got the chance to see one of my oldest friends from junior high school recently. Mike was working in London so I went up to join him for dinner and isn't it great when conversation just flows, where you have similar ideas but loads of new stories to tell? I love that! It was brilliant.

Then the end of March marks my birthday. Gasp! I've been calling myself "38" for the last few months in the run up trying to force myself to accept this shocking age I shall be turning. ME? 38??? Not possible! I keep waiting to see what is going to happen when I "grow up". No idea what, if any, plans I'll have. Hopefully a dinner out with a few friends.

And a blog post wouldn't be complete without two things: an update on Abby (of course) and my recent reviews of movies/TV:

Abby: she's awesome. I could leave it there but what else can I say...she's still fit and spry and ready to rumble! She loves her country walks (sometimes just with me, sometimes we go with Nancy and all her "charges" we're like a big pack!) She is a creature of routine and I find her hop, skip and jump after I get home in the evening, after dinner, because she knows it's rawhide time! Like MC Hammer, she does her own little dance. I can also tell she's getting old, however, by her huge increase in flatulence as well as groans when she is repositioning herself on the bed, the ol' body creaks I think! I could also call her "MacGyver" because if it's possible, she can use a couple matchsticks and a deflated balloon to somehow get herself high enough to pull dirty dishes off the counter! Of course though, I adore her. She's a joy.

There is one other guilty pleasure I've recently gotten into and it's what we insiders call "DDO", which is Dungeons and Dragons Online. My sister and brother in law like to play it and they were generous enough to give me a subscription and we can meet online at the weekends and play together. I tell people who don't know it, it's like playing The Lord of the Rings! Because we have headsets and microphones we chat while online either about the quests, making jokes, sometimes catching up. What you may not know, unless you've tried it, is that time FLIES when you're on it. And as I learned the hard way, if you're trying to wind down to go to sleep, don't fall into the "I'll just do one or two quests before bedtime" trap, hours pass and it just stimulates you. Shan and Dev are great because they'll play early in the day their time (which is evening my time) in order for us to do it together.

Now, I've not been to the movies forever so can't comment a whole lot on those, but I do watch a fair share of TV:

TV:
Glee - it just makes me happy. I've also converted Nancy and Carolyn and over dinner last night, we laughed a lot about it and how it related to our high school times (especially them as they were in small-town America!)
Survivor - starts again this week, never missed a season (there have been 20!), even after moving here. Thank you iTunes!
Burn Notice - my guilty pleasure (apart from the selection of reality TV I remain dedicated to) and this show just has it all. Quirky humor (love his best friend and his mother) and lots of shit blow ups. And while I hate the heat, I just love this show set in Miami!
The Closer - I really enjoy this ensemble.

Saving Grace - I hear it's been canceled but I really liked this one, thought it was unusual but still had interesting crime-solving.
True Blood and Dexter - my goal is to be patient enough not to pay for and download the latest series when they become available on iTunes because both are successful here and if I can be patient, I will be able to watch them on TV here for free!

As I type, I am watching the British version of So You Think You Can Dance. It's on BBC so no commercials, so those dancers just have to move from thing to thing without a break. They also show the results show an hour after the show airs, none of this milking it out all week like American Idol. There are certainly British shows I'm watching but none that I am a rabid fan over.

So I do love Facebook and the immediacy of feeling connected to my friends and family everywhere. But I will endeavor to keep the blog alive. I do get a kick out reading back on some of my posts...I can be funny sometimes! And I'll leave it there, until next time...

Holding Patterns

2009-10-18T10:30:00.012+01:00

Do you ever feel life is a holding pattern? Well that's how mine has felt for quite a while, which is interesting when you think that in 18 months I've moved 3 times (if you include the move from Los Angeles to the UK) and I've had jobs and been laid off, too. Still, I feel like I'm waiting to land for my life in the UK to finally begin though I think the phrase I really mean is to finally "settle down".

The summer job has been a godsend and has continued on and so far I have a few more weeks left. This is excellent news as I'm still working on obtaining the marketing-communication job I seek. Yes, it's hard out there but there are some jobs available and I'm sure one of them is a fit for me and me for it. So for the moment, I'm still down south, still enjoying living in Ringwood, still facilitating courses and still applying for jobs. It's a holding pattern I tell you!

September, however, had a welcome break from all of it when Mom and Shannon visited for 2 fun-packed weeks. I feel like I could quote The Amazing Race with all of the miles and places we visited which include: Bath, Warwick, Stratford-upon-Avon, Stonehenge and Salisbury (of course!), London, Paris, Windsor, Winchester and lots of lovely meals, walks and even some chilling out at home. Most of the pics and updates are on Facebook, but here are a few of my favorite pics:

Mai, oui! That's Paris behind us. We spent the day in Paris (yes, as in flew there in the morning and came back that night).

At entrance of Windsor Castle - that place definitely wowed me. Though we were all a bit tired that day

In front of Westminster Abbey (another WOW place). I wasn't trying to hog the picture, it just happens...naturally. :)

At the end of our day in London (we were too dang tired to do a 2nd day, but hopefully next trip we can stay in London and do it properly). We managed a bus tour, The Tower and Westminster Abbey before heading home.

Dad arrives on the 21st of December (where will I be, down here or up north? I'm telling you, it's up in the air, it's a holding pattern right now!) and am looking forward to that visit!

Today is Sunday and my one day off this week. So I think I'll take Abby for a walk in this cool, autumnal weather, watch some NFL (at least what I can get over here) and maybe chill out in front of the (electric and very "vintage" fireplace) for the evening.

Mid (okay late)-Summer's Review

2009-08-06T17:44:00.021+01:00

As I write, I'm sitting at home and it's raining. This summer weather has been wet, wet, wet! So funny how we (okay, I) was complaining about the heat in June at which time we were told it'd be a scorcher and a summer of BBQ's! Uhhhh. NOT. July was wet and muggy and my complaining now is not that it's wet (as we all know, I do love the rain) but that it's so mild that having to wear a coat to keep dry also means I am constantly boiling! Yeah okay, it's not 110 degree weather like back in Phoenix, but it's MY pain okay, so let me OWN it! :D

Anyway, I've currently got 4 weeks and 1 day left of my temporary teaching contract. I work with a great bunch of people and this morning as I was driving into work, down the specific road the school is on in Bournemouth, ahead of me was the owner/director and then 3 other teachers all riding their bicycles to work! As an aside, I do find it charming how many folks here in the little town I live in ride their bicycles to and from the store and to run errands. Not the hard-core cycling scene here in Ringwood, but a lot of grey and white-haired folks cycling with their baskets at the front of their bikes. I find it so charming...as I drive by burning fossil-fuel (because as I've just explained, I'd burn up in the coat I'd have to wear to stay dry so why cycle or walk and get sweaty?)

This summer of teaching has also meant going on a lot of excursions and to make life a tad easier (because preparing for lessons 5 days a week is tiring so having to study up and prepare information to present on the excursions is extra tiring), I've become very familiar with two excursions in particular: London and the Stonehenge/Salisbury excursions. I'm by no means an expert but those two I know pretty well now so I can show up on the day and pretty much give the students all the key and hopefully interesting info. This Saturday I'm going to London with Tex. Tex is a teacher who lives most of the year as a part-owner/operator of a resort in Bali, from what I can gather. He loves surfing and he looks very Matthew McMonaughey-ish (and the fact that his name is Tex makes me think of Texas where Mattew McMonaughey is from too). The thing about Tex is he's either a really good luck or a really bad luck charm. Every time he's done London this summer (probably the same days that I was doing Stonehenge/Salisbury), there have been "issues" with the return from London. He's had to file police reports on under-age students who went "missing" and I've learned that "missing" means the students decided to take the train back but didn't call us to tell us. And YES, we always give them an emergency contacts sheet (in day-glo colors no less!) with our phone numbers for them to call. He's not had an excursion to London that went off without a hitch. So either he brings bad karma or, if you prefer to look at it optimistically, thank goodness he WAS there to handle the situations. Either way, he's more of an expert on London than I am so he'll be leading the walking tour portion of the excursion and I'll be bringing up the rear of our group of almost 60.

Is that sun? Yes, this was taken in June in London. "The diameter of Big Ben is so large that you could drive a double-decker bus right through the center of it."

Stonehenge, listening to the audio guide, which actually is quite well done. The facilities at Stonehenge, though? Don't even get me started on those.

My co-teacher on the "Dorset Coast" excursion Sam and me posing, before the death march began in earnest.

In front of Durdle Door (again sunny, this was June), the hole in the limestone was made from millions of years of the water eroding it. This is a stunning area of Dorset, if you can manage the grueling hikes down and back up and then up and over again!

I've found that I enjoy the quiet life for the most part. Abby (who is the subject of most of my regular mobile uploads to Facebook photos!) loves living out her canine golden years out here in the "country". Having spent her life as a city-dog who was used to always being on a leash (apart from the dogparks she would be let loose at), it's quite fun for her to run amok in the country and do the disgusting things animals do unchecked. So suffice it to say, she doesn't get to give me nearly as many "kisses", I mean, where that mouth has been. EWWWWW! I see friends for coffee, meals and other outings but am also thoroughly enjoying the walking (flat, preferably!) and who knows, maybe one of these years, before my 40th (egad, that's just 3 years away!) I'll be fit and ready to do the Coast to Coast walk (Shannon, shall we do that together?) I wonder if Abby will still be around then. Okay, onto another topic as that will make me sad pondering how many years she has left!

Earlier this summer, during the "oh my god, it's so freakin' hot" phase, I was able to see The Dave Matthews Band in concert! HERE! Well, sort of here, it was actually about a 4 1/2 hour drive north to Wolverhampton. My dear friend Lucie met me there and although she hadn't heard of them or heard their music, she was a great companion and we melted together and had a blast. Seeing them at such a small venue was so different from seeing them at arenas or amphitheaters. While the acoustics weren't as great as The Hollywood Bowl (duh!), we were soooo close and it seemed the band really got a kick out of the intimacy. Maybe reminded them of their days playing universities? Also being such a small venue, it was dead easy to get in and out of. No lines - even in the bathrooms! And there was free water. NICE.

Before the concert, in front of Wolverhampton Civic Center (note the throngs of fans in the background) and we posed with the band behind us (sort of).

Generating the excitement about the ending of this summer of teaching is knowing that two days later my mother and sister arrive! They'll be staying 12 days (not that I'll mourn each one as it passes, knowing it's one day closer to having to say goodbye or anything) and we have a game plan of at least 7-8 different day trips we can take. I will not hold them to a plan or place but being situated down south, we have a lot more historical (or "hysterical" as we like to call them) places within easy grasp. My dad is hoping to visit over the holidays so that is something to hope for/look forward to and finally my niece will hopefully be able to come and stay over her spring break next year. She'll be 14 and I'm sure it'd be a blast. But first things first...I'll be ready to be the tour guide for Mom and Shannon... "The phrase 'Mind the Gap' originated on the Northern line"..."

Well, it's time to sign off and prepare my lessons for tomorrow. Think I'll move into the conservatory to do it - the sound of the rain is particularly loud in there and I love that sound!

My lesson preparation area!

My Own Facebook Anecdote

2009-07-12T14:09:00.014+01:00

Say what you want about Facebook, but I love it. I love to feel connected to people all around the world; friends and family and while it may have made me a bit lazy (status updates are an easy way to let others know how you're doing and what's happening), I value it as a tool for staying current with people I care about. And that means all 85 of them (I cull the list every month or two, still managing to keep the number under 90). But I recently had a lovely exchange on Facebook and asked the other person if it was okay if I shared it, which he agreed.

While the stereotypes of American high school depicted in Heathers, Valley Girl (man, I'm dating myself with that reference) or Mean Girls have some truth, they aren't quite that bad. However, I still remember the high school feeling being as enjoyable as guerilla warfare. And I had an experience that could've been truly gruesome (socially, personally) if the other guy had been a jerk, which he wasn't. I recently saw him (a friend of a friend of a friend type of thing) on Facebook and sent him a message. I wasn't sure if he'd know what I was referring to, but it was an experience that has stayed with me and I decided to shoot him a message to let him know as such. Below are my email to him and his response.

above photo: 10 year high school reunion in 2000 (I'm on far left). Strangely, I feel no need/desire to do the 20th or any other.

First contact, me to him:

"Hi Mike, You don't know (or remember me) from high school, I was in the class of 1990. I saw you listed when I was looking at a friend's friend list and had to send you a quick note - why? Because you actually did something really nice for me once and while you prob don't remember it, I have always appreciated it - and with the help of Facebook - I can at least tell you so!

I had such a crush on you (from afar of course), you were more popular than me and such a jock (such high school terminology I know, but trying to paint the picture!). I think I was a freshman or maybe sophomore, anyway I was always staring and borderline stalking (in a high-school-from-behind-the-lockers or bushes kind of way).

SO - the Sadie Hawkins dance (the one where girls ask boys) was looming and I don't know know where my courage came from - it's pretty amazing when I think about it now - but I walked up to you at your locker (we were in the same locker bay) and even though you didn't even KNOW me, I actually asked you to be my date!

And here's the thing, you could have been such a jerk, you could have laughed at me, so many high school nightmares could've resulted...but instead I think you did a really kind thing. You paused (gathering your thoughts I'm sure as it had to be a surprise) and you said, "I'm sorry, I promised my mother I'd babysit that night."

You let me off the hook - so nicely and I half-believed you - so my fragile high school confidence was left pretty unbruised for the day.

So just wanted to say I remember that and I appreciate it.

Hope this message finds you well wherever you are and whatever you are doing.

Valerie (Nikki in high school) Tanswell

PS I remember thinking if I could get your Dad to like me (he taught driver's ed), I'd have an "in" with you - cracks me up to think about it. He never even remembered my name i don't think!!!!"

Mike's reply message:

"Valerie/Nikki, I remember the above event very well. I admired your courage...same courage that allowed you to send this message...not an easy thing to do and most people don't do it. And yes, I knew you didn't believe me. The irony of the whole situation is that I was being totally honest. I have a 22 year old sister today who was a baby back then....so, as crazy as it may have seemed, it was the truth. Anyway, thanks for the message... I hope all is well with you and whatever you are doing.... Take care..."

My name is Valerie and I'll be your tour guide today...

2009-06-14T14:39:00.017+01:00

For a teacher working at a language school for the summer, you can earn extra money doing other events like giving lectures, doing quiz nights and showing films at the school. Another way to earn some extra dosh is to be the guide on weekly excursions, which usually take place on Saturday. Apparently "summer" kicks off properly in July where we'll have at least 2 different all day excursions every weekend. As the guide, you are responsible for the students and keeping to a program of events, you are also required to do the "tour" part of tour-guide including either by doing it via the microphone on the coach or in some cases taking the students on a walking tour of a certain city (Oxford for example, requires a walking/talking tour). Most excursions we do have a period of time where the students can do and go wherever they want (some go directly shopping, even if the shops are the same as in Bournemouth and some go straight to the pub!) and it's usually only during this time that as the excursion guide you can relax. Much of this I know from my "first life" in the UK. I got to know London quite well (but honestly, it is possible to see Madam Tussaud's too many times) etc., but yesterday was my first excursion in over 11 years, I'd guess. And I picked a doozy!

It was a doozy in that we did a tour of the Dorset Coast (which to me sounded easy and relaxing) except we have at least 3 scheduled destinations which means coordinating 41 students off and back on the coach at least 3 times! Also not having been responsible for one yet, I was stressed it was an excursion I hadn't been on, or places I'd either not visited or had only done so, maybe once! Thankfully, the sign up sheet peaked over 40 and at that stage, a 2nd teacher (guide) is justified. Sam was kind enough to come with me (she didn't have to) and I assured her that I while I needed her to show me the ropes (just managing the basic things: the coach driver, what you tell the students, how you "do" it), I would do the heavy lifting. I was lucky as well that the coach driver was helpful and knew Dorset so well he did a fair amount of the "tour" info giving part. I had highlighted notes but he did it so naturally as he knew the area and has spent a lifetime driving all sorts of coach tours. So thank you Tony!

Many of you know I'm an avid hiker. NOT. My thighs burn going up the stairs at school to my afternoon class! And the first half of the Dorset Coast excursion includes two grueling hikes. D'OH! Well obviously I survived it, though my leg muscles are aching as I type. Having Sam on the excursion ended up with her leading the students up and down the hikes with me at the rear "gathering" and "waiting on" students - all code for me resting. Ugh! The views are stunning but I don't think I'll jump to sign up for another one because if I were to have to do it again and NOT have another teacher, I'd be screwed. I would have to waive everyone ahead of me and I'd be the last one on the coach - not the other way around which is kind of how it should be!

We did three stops: Durdle Door, Portland and Weymouth. We also drove through Wareham on the way which I will have to visit another time, just a charming little village! Anyway, Durdle Door is stunning and is one of the most photographed features of the "Juraissic Coastline" as it's called! The "door" is actually a big hole in the rock where the limestone has been eroded by millions of years of the water lapping against it. Durdle Door beach is beautiful (no potty though so you have to go pee way before at the car park before the hike down). Then we hiked up from the beach and then over a couple of the Purbeck hills to arrive in Lulworth Cove, which is stunning. The coach dropped us off at Durdle Door and collected us at Lulworth Cove so hiking was the only way to get a lift onto the next place!

Above pic: me in front of Durdle Door

Before you hike down or up, you get to enjoy this stunning view of Man of War Bay. You can just see the top of the "door" if you look carefully.

This was from Durdle Door Beach and facing the first of the 2 grueling hikes (up that way!)

Here we were waiting for the final students. While we "waited", I caught my breath and tried to loosen my fatigued muscles. After this we turned around to head down to Lulworth Cove...

Once I made it to Lulworth Cove (and all the students did too and we had about 30 minutes to eat and check out the beach there), we headed to Weymouth with a pit-stop en route in Portland. I don't understand really why this is part of the exursion as it's a bear to get to and you get a vista of sorts: you look out onto the water and can take pictures of the lighthouse but after Durdle Door and Lulworth it's just not all that. Thankfully it's a flat walk from the car park to the lighthouse which was good because a) we were pressed for time so I had them out and back on the coach in 15 minutes and b) my legs were jelly and might have given out under me if there had been an incline. However, I did learn that Portland is famous for its quarries and in fact Sir Christopher Wren (who was from Dorset) asserted that all the new buildings in London (after the Great Fire of 1666) he was responsible for designing should be made from Portland stone. And so, St. Paul's Cathedral, for example, is made from the stone there.

Above picture is Lulworth Cove from atop the 2nd hike.

Our final stop was Weymouth which was a fishing village until the 1700's when King George III visited there for health reasons and loved it so much it became a trendy, holiday destination on the coast. Weymouth has its charm (better than Ports O'Call in San Pedro lemme tell you!) with a lovely beach (Chessle Beach), a marina and lots of character shops and buildings. The students (as well as Sam and me) had about 2 hours in Weymouth before the drive back to Bournemouth. It was a bit cloudly by the time we got there (though the temperature was lovely) so I didn't really take photos - they always end up so dark (blame my iPhone) when it's cloudy. But we enjoyed a sumptious cream tea and wander around the shops. Got back to the school just after 6. I motored home, picked up Abby (who was with Nancy all day) and was glad I had survived the hike, made some extra money and saw a few places I definitely want to take Mom and Shannon when they visit!

At last - a breather and an update

2009-06-05T19:41:00.017+01:00

Many of you know that I'm on Facebook a fair amount (okay, I'm on it a lot) - mostly via my cell phone - so in the last whirlwind that has been 3-4 weeks, I've updated my status regularly on there along with posting pics - it's the easiest way, I've found, to just update friends and family. But I am still committed to my blog (sort of) so will try now to get the blog up to speed.

But first, my teaching as it turns out, isn't just for the foreign students. When discussing the French Open with my colleagues and who had progressed etc., the Williams sisters were mentioned. Confused about which one had just been eliminated, I asked "was it the one with the junk in the trunk?" to which my colleagues were baffled. Even with the American TV and movies and all the slang they hear, these 3 had never heard "junk in the trunk" so I explained it to them. Of course, why would they have that expression, they don't even call that part (of a car) the "trunk". To them it's the boot, so what would they say instead, "She's got some loot in the boot?" Come to think of it, that kind of works.

Anyway, first off, I LOVE where I live. And not just the little bungalow. I love the neighborhood, the town, the New Forest in every direction and multiple great walks just minutes' away. I can't wait until Shannon and Mom come to visit - it's quite picturesque. The town I live in is quite small and a lot of retired folk live here. And judging from the plethora of activities and clubs advertised in the little local magazines, it's a great place to spend you time when you have a lot of free time (as in retired!) It's quiet and has enough shops to do everything you need to do without it being totally busy like Bournemouth. I'm also positioned to have motorway access within a couple of miles so my drive to work is easy.

As for work, I'm writing this AT work on a Friday evening. It's a Sing-Song night here and another teacher has the guitar and is getting everyone involved (actually right now he's doing "is there anyone from out of town?" bit but with our audience, it's kind of a no brainer!) so I'm acting as bouncer. I'm keeping my eye on the front door (as is Abby). But it's the end of a long week so I'm not necessarily as chipper and excited about work as I might be earlier in the week. But anyway, I'm back in the world of TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) which is something I wouldn't have ever thought I'd be doing again! It was just like riding a bicycle. Having done 3 weeks now, I can quite safely say this isn't what I'd want to do long term but for the summer, it's 100% ok. The grind of prepping for classes is really exhausting and while I'm sure this will lessen as the weeks go by and I get more tools in my tool-belt, so to speak, I still think prepping is something that's just part of this life. I am pooped from teaching and then spend at least 2 hours every night prepping for the next day. I have 3 classes. Two are lower level, so are more teacher-centric and the other is a Business English class and I enjoy that one a lot. They have enough language to work on projects and presentations, but they ask some tough questions and thank God I just got the Teacher's Book (with the answer keys) because I was getting worried I'd not be able to confidently explain the differences between joint ventures, form alliances, join forces and other things like that (not that big of a difference as it turns out!) Being American is a bit of a novelty (I think my Director of Studies likes having a Yank on staff for the diversity factor) and students ask me if certain things are the same or different in America. You know, when you live in America, you never say "I'm from America" do you? You say "from the states". But over here, the USA is referred to as America and that's that. So I've learned to say "In America, we spell it o-r-g-a-n-i-z-e" etc. I am also doing as many overtime options as I can. This includes lectures, quiz nights, film nights, sing-song nights and then weekend excursions. I was supposed to be the 2nd teacher on tomorrow's excursion to Oxford, for example, but there weren't enough students to justify two bus loads (which is just as well, I'm exhausted). Like my mom says, I'm making "hay while the sun shines" and I know this is just for the summer.

Where much of the lesson prep happens.

Abby's taken to my new schedule like the pro she is. My schedule isn't 40 hours of teaching, though I spend at least 40 hours with teaching and prepping combined, so I don't usually have to leave her for more than 7 hours at any one time. When I first got her all those years ago (was it 9 years ago maybe?) I worked full time and she was fine then. It's just been a long time since I was in this type of routine. We go for walks and she LOVES having a backyard. The minute I open the back conservatory doors, she just plops down on the grass and chills out.

Free time is obviously very much limited compared to before. But the plus side is I'm sleeping like a log after approximately 3 years of having insomnia in varying degrees of severity. I have only had 2 weeks since my move and the first one was running around getting organized, the 2nd was last weekend when my friend Jean came to stay from Manchester. So this weekend will be hopefully just a lot of rest and relaxation. I have continued to download the tv shows from AMERICA that I love and a few ones to try but there's quite a backlog of shows to catch up on so I will do some of that this weekend. I did just go through the entire 3rd season of Dexter in a few days - excellent show.

I hope that my northern friends will come to visit when they can. While the summer is busy for me, I can still make a lot of my time workable to hang out, too! Mom and Shannon are due to come at the end of the summer so I'm so looking forward to that. Also I'm heading up to Wolverhampton (don't bother to Google it, it's not that interesting) to see DMB at the end of June (been listening to their new album, excellent stuff!). I bought the tickets months ago when I was still unemployed (the show is on a Monday night) and Wolverhampton was just 90 minutes away. Now it's more like 3 1/2 hours a bit of a pain to get to. But I'll either drive or take the train and my boss knows about it. I've asked Lesley (friend I went to Budapest with) if she'd like to either come for the weekend before and go to the concert with me (and then head home from there) or just rendez-vous with me there and she's up for it! She likes to dance to good music so I think she'll enjoy it and I'll enjoy seeing her and also having someone with me!

Quick update: move down sarf*

2009-05-16T14:22:00.002+01:00

*sarf is how my friend Jill (a true northerner through and through) spells "south" with regards to southern England...and she would never admit that she can see why the move was actually a good thing.

In my last blog post, I shared photos and experiences of a really fun week back down south (Bournemouth area) where I lived my first life in the UK many, many years ago. In addition to having a great time on vacation here a couple weeks ago, a seed was planted that I might want to consider moving down here to work, at least for the summer. And that seed has sown and then some!

The short version is that I have not only returned to Bournemouth to live (Ringwood, actually) but I am ALSO returning to TEFL for the summer (Teaching English as a Foreign Language), the career I had in my first life here too! It'll be great to get back to work as it's been a while (boooo) and knowing the job, at least as I remember it, it'll be a really fun and full summer! I will continue to look for a job in my chosen field during the coming months but will start work this Monday for sure. Yay! So huge thanks to friends Lyn, Gus and Sarah who all convinced me to work again in TEFL and do it at their school, too!

I just completed my move down here, renting a small bungalow and it is heaven I tell you, h-e-a-v-e-n...no more sharing of space, no more mess (unless I make it), so quiet my ears almost hurt, fairly spacious and it feels somewhat rural in Ringwood even though it has motorway access just minutes away. Abby and I spent our first night there last night and I slept like a log. Abby, being the well-travelled dog she is, took to moving like a duck to water. So she's not even had to adjust, she just does it naturally. She has her own enclosed backyard (where I can actually let her off to go explore) and a larger front yard too!

In a matter of two weeks I got a job, a car and a new home. Boom, boom, boom! All is well.

Trip South - Recap

2009-04-28T15:56:00.014+01:00

I had meant to blog throughout my trip but as I hadn't remembered to pack the cord to connect my proper camera to upload photos, it seemed difficult to blog without the photographic inspiration (and I was dog-tired after each night!) but I managed one or two (previous blog posts) and posted little status updates on Facebook. It was a lovely week and one I thank my mother for from the bottom of my heart. Thanks to all the friends who made time in their schedules to see me - I felt so full up of love and togetherness - someone should write a song about that. Anyway, here are some of the pictures and a few notes from the trip...

Day 2 - Salisbury with Tonia

This lovely little street leads you into Salisbury Cathedral - but you can see that impressive spire from pretty much any vantage point (see it peeking over in the picture).

There was reconstruction going on on the other side, but you can't see it from this perspective!

Lovely how the river runs through the town.

Tonia and I had a coffee at the cathedral cafe and swapped photo-taking responsibilities with the lunching ladies across from us, photographing each others' get-togethers.

Near where we stopped for lunch, how's THAT for a view? River, field, spire in background and of course me in the foreground! I'm struck by how white I am, I literally blend in with my white sleeves.

This is a pub where the old mill used to be, Mom and I stopped here and had a drink 15 years ago (we have a photo of it somewhere) before we headed up to see Stonehenge, which is maybe 20 minutes from here.

Yep, still amazingly impressive, no matter what angle!

Kind of a cool pic of the cloisters at Salisbury Cathedral.

Who knew my birthplace was just off a roundabout on the way to Salisbury.

Day 3: The New Forest with Jaci and family

I spent my full 2nd day in Alderholt with Jaci and Rogan and their kids. Jaci and I once worked together (for a whole 3 weeks she was able to determine when we were catching up) but a soul-friendship began! I spent the day with Jaci and her youngest son, preparing dinner and catching up. We then collected the two older kids from school. I bribed them with presents making me popular - and that I spoke in a funny accent and I dutifully performed better than any trained monkey with words like "bangs" (here they say "fringe") and "braids" (here they say plaits).

Jaci holding her 6 month old son. He was such a good baby and Jacs looked gorgeous.

Rogan with the little man.

The next day we met up in Ringwood for a picnic!

Who says English food has no flavor? Just look at these potato chip packets. In the end I only really liked the Cajun Squirrel - it tasted like BBQ crisps. Jaci liked the Crispy Duck. Neither of us really dug the chilli and chocolate.

Day 4 - Lots of chatting with Gretta and then Carolyn

I went to Gretta's house and the chatting started right up and didn't really stop until I drove off several hours later. We went for a long (mostly flat) walk, she took me to lunch and we walked back. I then headed to Carolyn's, who is one of my oldest friends. I arrived at her house at 5 but didn't leave until 2am or so. As with Gretta, we went for a long walk and then had dinner down at Hythe marina and walked back - laughing ourselves silly much of the time. In fact, a couple of times we were laughing so hard we got the "ugly" face syndrome; you know, when your face contorts involuntarily to some gruesome expression, all because you're laughing so hard it almost becomes...supernatural! :D

With Gretta.

We had just walked down to Hythe and were about to have dinner. Asked a lone woman (weren't a lot of people down there at the time) to take our picture and she was from up north! Small world, small island I guess.

Day 5 - Bournemouth

I lived and worked in Bournemouth for 6 years basically. This was my first time returning. In between lots of coffee dates with former coworkers, I explored and took pics of the city - it really hasn't changed much. It was still very pretty, very breezy and very busy!

This used to be Interlink, where I worked for 4 years or so. It's now a specialized school for boys with Asperberger's Syndrome.

The town centre, where the shopping precincts continue up either end. To the left (in this pic) is where you enter Bournemouth Gardens.

Up one side of the centre where there are shops and a LOT of foreign students!

This is the way from the town centre to the sea front, you just follow the path through Bournemouth Gardens behind me.

More of Bournemouth Gardens

Before meeting Gus and Sarah for dinner, I had a bit of a break in my day. I noticed this gorgeous (and HUGE) dog snoozing in the car at the carpark at ASDA - he was napping the way I was wishing I could at the same time!

Sarah and Gus met me for dinner in Charminster (where we all used to teach at an English school) for dinner. Then we went on to Havana (bar) a few doors down and caught up more.

Day 6 - Veronique and then Christchurch with Sarah

First I had lunch plans to see Veronique and after that I headed down the road to Christchurch for a cream tea with Sarah. It was a lovely day to be in Christchurch and I'd forgotten how much it has to offer: it's cathedral, the quay, the old castle and grounds, the beautiful river...

Veronique and I worked together at Interlink for the last 1 or 2 years I worked there (the first couple were soley as a teacher). She still looks so chic, stylish and we always shared at least 3 mutual loves: dogs, vegetarian food and jewellry! Turns out we still do - and we had lunch at this gorgeous vegetarian restaurant that's been in Boscombe forever and I remember it from at least 15 years ago - same owners too!

An old lane at the end of which is the entrance to Christchurch Cathedral. I remember this at night at Christmas time too, it is gorgeous then as well.

Christchurch cathedral.

Ruins.

And more ruins.

Days 2 and 3…but without pics*

2009-04-22T09:52:00.001+01:00

*while many photos have been taken, they are still safely on the camera since I left the USB cable for the camera at home – my packing strategy is showing some holes, I admit.

Day 2 – Salisbury with and Tonia

On Monday, I drove to meet Tonia in Salisbury (what a gorgeous city – I’ve been there before – remember it, Mom…before we went to Stonehenge? Still, it struck me with renewed appreciation), we met out front of the cathedral, it was like a scene from The Muppet Movie, Tonia and I like Kermit and Miss Piggy finding each other and running in slow motion in the fields into each others arms! Okay, she’s British, so we hardly displayed THAT kind of public affection but I hugged my old friend tightly. Though I had spent a few days with her last year in West Yorkshire, I was thrilled to have another face-to-face catch up session.

We quickly went into the café at the cathedral to have a coffee and croissant and the catching up began! After we had a long, leisurely coffee, we walked around Salisbury, along the river, along some back roads (Jaci, it was all so quaint!) popping into the museum for a cold drink. Tonia then took me to gorgeous place for lunch at a hotel that served its food in the garden, by the water, with a striking view of the cathedral (though the spire is visible from seemingly any location as it’s so tall). We then topped off our day with going into the town center (still strolling along) and did a few bits and pieces before parting. Sadly, our schedules don’t match up for any other visits this week but through email, we manage to stay in touch pretty well.

Day 3 – Jaci, Rogan and kiddies in The New Forest

Do you ever meet someone and though you only know them for a short while, you feel connected them to…like forever? That’s how I feel about Jaci. She figured it out today that we only actually worked together for fewer than 3 weeks before she was transferred but we forged a close bond anyway. Jaci and I are quite different, she and her husband Rogan (then boyfriend) are kind of new age hippies, SO creative and not just in their ideas but they actually act out their creativity – I love it! Rogan used to make one-of-a-kind benches out of logs and tree branches and everything Jaci does so effortlessly is, to me, hugely creative. She and Rogan came to the states twice during my years back there and both times I was lucky enough to see them and my sister and mother were both lucky enough to meet them, too.

In the past 10 years or so, they’ve gotten married, started a successful business, bought and built on to a house and had 3 gorgeous kids! I shall not gush in too much detail about their kids as this is a public blog and I don’t know what’s appropriate but let’s just say, they were gorgeous. The baby was so easy today, the kids so imaginative, I learned a LOT about frogs and also practiced my coloring while listening to stories of fairies. I won’t lie though, I was exhausted when they went down for bed. How does anyone herd two children to bed and put down a baby at the same time?

Anyway, after arriving at their Victorian semi in Alderholt (I got a proper tutorial on all the different types and names of properties here: bedsit, flat - purpose built and converted), maisonette, bungalow - with and without chalets, terrace, semi and detatched). Jacs and I prepared the dinner for the evening meal (well, I grated cheese and beat an egg), a gorgeous roast dinner with home made nut loaf, the best roast potatoes all from just ONE potato – thing was as big as an American football. The wee baby just hung out in the kitchen with us ready to flash a big drooling grin (teething and all) any time we were smart enough to turn and look at him. Then we catch a quick sandwich and chat with Rogan (congrats again!) Later, we ran into Fordingbridge, had a quick coffee and then picked up the other 2 kids from school. I successfully bribed both of them with presents (yay me!) and all was well. We ate in the garden and had to move the picnic table just once to keep up with the setting sun. I captured some gorgeous pics of the family and look forward to being able to see them properly!

Once the kids were all in bed (two of them chatted away for quite a while – I should think that’s a nice sound as a parent, two siblings in bed just chatting away to one another as they finally talk themselves to sleep), the grown ups (man, am I really in the grown up group?) relaxed into our seats a bit more and then we chatted about projects, old, new and ongoing and much more. Rogan built us a small fire in the stove (is that what it’s called Jacs? It has a door so it’s not a fireplace…) to heat up the room. I peeled myself away at 10 knowing that not only did I have a busy day tomorrow but they were going to have a normal day for them – which I had found amazingly tiring! Luckily I have plans to see them again, at least once more, before I head back up north.

Tomorrow is meeting with Nancy, then Mandy and then a few others in the evening – it will be my first visit to Bournemouth since leaving it all those years ago. It’s go, go, go but I feel so fulfilled, so grateful! It’s time for me to get in the hotel shower (god, I love that thing) and relax in the hot water before going to bed. Side note: with the bed, I can feel the springs poking me (what can I say, except “high maintenance”) so I found if I sleep on top of the duvet and pull it over to cover me, I don’t feel the springs and I also feel quite cozy that way, like a sausage roll (vegetarian of course!) Speaking of the hotel, they offer a continental breakfast in the morning, so nothing hot (but toast) but have protein in the form of cheese, meat and hard boiled eggs. My intentions are always to get enough protein so two mornings in a row I’ve taken an egg to my room to have later, but I seem to end up eating a fair amount of junk out and about and have yet to eat them. I’m starting a collection, I should have at least 7 by the end of the week at this rate!

Down South - Day One...

2009-04-19T21:42:00.016+01:00

Day One - Getting from A to B

I'm the kind of person who prefers, if possible, packing on the day OF a trip, rather than the night before, though I always organize everything beforehand. For two reasons: one is the most obvious and that you don't have to fiddle with the stuff you've packed using it the night before and day of journey (toiletries especially) - since otherwise it feels I have to keep track of "already packed but just used and will need to pack again" items. The second is a way of a check list - as I use each item I pack it away, ensuring I don't forget anything. That plan worked well this trip, apart from forgetting my hair brush. You say "oh well, big deal" but I didn't know until after I'd arrived at my hotel and ready to take a shower (and then brush my hair when drying!) and with Sunday trading hours, shops were all closed. Some nice girl at a petrol station which was sort of a mini-mart too asked me if I had found everything and when I told her I couldn't find a brush, she found me one itty bitty one - but it'll do until tomorrow. Note: in this pic, the hair dryer is normal size and scale…so my brush is like a "mini-me" brush. But it's worked!

Abby is so cool, she could see something was going on as I was packing the car and closing all the curtains, doors etc. But putting her in the car to take her to Lesley's, she just stuck her head out the window and all was well. OH - can I say how much I love driving!!! Yes! I have a rented car just like my company car in model etc., but this one has A/C, thank goodness and a few other little upgrades, so to speak.

On the Road…

I was torn between two nicknames "Black Beauty" but alas she's dark blue and then "Blue Steel" but somehow knew that'd already been coined (damn that hilarious Derek Zoolander!) so decided on Blue Beauty, you can call her "B.B."

I set off at 1pm and just stopped for potty breaks and grabbing a few snacks but apart from some slowing around Birmingham, made it here easily and effortlessly.

I guess when the "attendants" are on another (and surely secret) bathroom mission so they send the highly trained "Operatives" in their place.

This was really cute, all four of these woman were wearing these HOT pink scarves to keep their hair from blowing. I wish I could've gotten a shot as I passed them, they all had chic sunglasses on and were having a good time (perhaps a road trip like mine!) but it was too dangerous to do both (and I know my Mom thanks me for remembering "Safety First").

I do love my snacks

Hotel:

So far, I'm completely satisfied with this hotel (booked on Expedia), it's an "Express by Holiday Inn"…you know what I love about hotels? Their showers. Apart from one hotel room I recall (in Dumfries, the shower was lukewarm and no pressure), hotels always have good showers. And this one was great, I kept notching up the heat bit by bit. As I type, I'm still pink and wrinkly from that shower! Turns out this hotel is in between Hedge End and Botley. It's next to the Rose Bowl. Not to be confused with the American college football game, the Rose Bowl here is for the Hampshire Cricket Club. The pics (from my iPhone, I hadn't unpacked my proper camera) look dark as it was dusk but it was a lovely evening and I saw many fans leisurely leaving it at 5 (cricket is so civilized, don't ya know).

From my bedroom window.

I asked the Receptionist where to go for a bit of a walk, my intention was getting some fresh air (and locating a hair brush!) As advised I headed towards Botley and there I met Ned and Bessie - damn they had HUGE heads.

While Ned seemed to be standoffish...

...Bessie just seemed more "present", you know?

Botley:

I only went to the main little village area (and took an incidental turn - we don't say "wrong" turn as you never know what can happen - that included the street of brightly painted garage doors) and decided this was a village that wasn't boastful, it had true humility…and I have proof…

Exhibit A: Notice that they really want the consumer to know they have greeting cards, two signs in this picture alone, notice how they describe them…yes, they don't claim to kick-ass in the greeting card department of have an impression selection, instead they humbly but succinctly tell you they have a "unique" collection of (here's my favorite part…wait for it…) of "good quality" greeting cards.

Exhibit B: This is a picturesque pub right in the heart of the village and as most local pubs have, they have a Quiz Night (think Trivial Pursuit in teams) and they choose not to oversell it. Rather than boasting about their quiz in the context of surrounding areas or even Hampshire, they only simply promise to be the "best in Botley" (note: population of the Parish of Botley is just 4000). And they don't ram an oversell down your throat with anything as pushy as advertising meal deals, new menus etc., ohhhh no, not this pub, they quite simply put forward a question, "Why Not Eat First?" Why not indeed!

Finding Home:

I mentioned that the hotel was situated between Botley (which I've covered) and Hedge End. Hedge End when I first met it many years ago had started out as a simple commuter village with easy access to motorways to Southampton and Portsmouth (and in my case, Bournemouth). I decided to have a wander (in the car) since the walk in Botley was so short-lived and started to feel a sense of familiarity. I found the "village center" and while the shop fronts may have changed, I swear it hasn't changed in size at all! And I knew, just knew, the way to the house I lived in for a year (my only home purchase to date) was nearby. While the center hasn't changed, Hedge End is allll about superstores (think predictable strip malls in the states, always the same with Bed Bath and Beyond, Target, Home Depot, Starbucks) except here it's different superstores. I decided I'd try to find my way to the old house (couldn't even remember the address, I've lived in THAT many places!) I backtracked to where the M&S superstore is and where I spent two months employed there one holiday season (polyester uniforms…shuddering to think about it) and from there it was easy to just follow my senses. And as I turned on the last roundabout , recognizing the area I wished I had somebody in the car to tell "I found it! I found it!" Words that were a tad premature. I found "it" but it "it" probably had 5 times the number of houses crammed in every nook and cranny of the development. I had bought the house (with my then-boyfriend) brand new so there were only a few houses built at that stage), I remember it being posher than it looked tonight in general, but eventually keeping in my mind's eye what the front looked like, I found it and thankfully I snapped a pic with my phone without anyone noticing (don't want to make anyone nervous!) I enjoyed living there, but was only there a year before life led me in a different direction.

Here she is!

So it's 9pm now, I'm starting to settle into the hotel room (the first night is always a bit odd to me), I've just had modern Godzilla movie (with Matthew Broderick) on the TV (funny how they didn't make a sequel…NOT) and now Rush Hour has started (well I can get into that at least but still prefer Chris Tucker in The Fifth Element!) The only negative (as I'm no longer brush-challenged) is my mouth. I don't know why/how but I seem to be having allergic reactions on my tongue to highly acidic or spicy foods. Why? I think it started when I ate too many hard candies the other night (that had fizzy middles) and it's like they just burned the crap out of my mouth. But I was eating a salad that had pesto salad dressing tonight and my mouth was simply burning, on fire! Tongue, lips everything. Does that mean that for this week, where I'll be having most of my meals out, I have to eat bland foods? Weird. Not comfortable. Actually painful and especially in the wee corners of my mouth, where my lips meet in the corners, OUCH. I had to get a diet Pepsi and kind of let the Pepsi sit in my mouth burning the areas because afterwards there was some numbness then. Weird weird weird.

Just heard from Lesley, she and Abby just got back from a walk, so all is well. Tomorrow I am meeting Tonia in Salisbury - will break out the REAL camera then!

Reminiscing...it's been a year!

2009-04-09T15:24:00.014+01:00

Yesterday marked 365 days since I arrived in Manchester. I was thinking about that first week, well actually 9 days. And many other elements of this past year...

Pre-flight: The days preceding my flight to Heathrow were such a mix. I was heartbroken to leave my boyfriend, sad to leave Abby (but knowing she'd be joining me eventually), excited to be fulfilling my heart's desire by returning to the UK and happiness at seeing my mom also moving on to a new stage of her life by moving back to Phoenix to her new home there. My sister was visiting to help my Mom (emotionally too as well as all the muscle Shannon brings!) and she was also giving me a hand. I had 4 suitcases that I had packed soooo poorly, because they weren't organized. I hadn't yet thought about how having everything mixed up between them would possible effect me later. Anyway, I remember a pile of items I had needed up until that final day and four already full suitcases and I asked Shannon to pack the remaining items and to, in the words of Tim Gunn, "make it work" which she did! We loaded all the stuff off and headed to LAX on that sunny day, that was April 7, 2008. To avoid long goodbyes both for me, (once you're at the airport, you kind of want to be done with the emotional goodbyes and get on with things, don't you?) and for Mom (who was not only sad to see me go but had a million things she also needed to do), Shannon helped me unload (did I mention she brings muscle?) and I queued up. They snapped a pic of me as I waited to check in and off they went:

Arriving: After sailing through customs and immigration (yay for being a British national!), I had all of my luggage once again on my trolley (note to self: do not take a book that ways 10 pounds in case you want to read on the plane, you will have to carry the damned book through the airport on arrival too!), I distinctly remember rolling out the doors of the terminal at Heathrow. Well, it was nothing special. Looked like a road by an airport. But the brisk air caught my nostrils and I breathed in many deep breathes. Holy cow, I'd actually arrived! I rolled over to where I could get my courtesy bus to the car rental place. Once I'd hoisted my bags into the rental car (those damn bags are a feature of all my first experiences, it seems!), I plugged the destination into my SAT NAV (GPS): a hotel in Stockport (Manchester area) that I had booked (thanks to Mel!).

Getting to Manchester: It seems to me in my memory, that 3-4 hour drive marked the start of a long day (especially having already been up close to 24 hours). I adjusted to the motorways without much problem and savored my first Marks and Spencers sandwich at a services stop somewhere along the way. But I was getting tired and then I hit road construction (I assume) and the last 60 miles were looooong. At times I was at a standstill, so at least if my lids fell closed, I wasn't in a moving vehicle. A few peppy texts from Rich helped as well. Eventually, I knew I was getting close to my destination (SAT NAV told me so!). I saw Stockport for the first time. Lots of red brick. My first life in the UK, I recall the 2 hours from Heathrow to Bournemouth full of my exclamations of how green everything was (I was moving from Phoenix that time), but this time I wasn't as in awe of the differences. I had lived in the UK before after all. But there was a lot of brick and I could tell this was much the industrial north that I had read about. I spied a B&Q (like a giant Home Depot, even the same color scheme) and a Staples as I got off the motorway and headed the last couple miles to the hotel. Checking in was easy apart from...wait for it...the baggage! I had no idea what suitcase had what and I had booked the hotel for a week, so I had to get all those bags up to my room. Of course, this is England, so there was no elevator to the different floors. Thankfully an employee of the hotel took pity on me and while there was no bellhop, she helped me lug those buggers upstairs.

Priorities: Get a power cord for my laptop. After getting directions from the hotel, I raced to the nearest PC World to try to get a power cord that I could use. I felt it imperative to have internet access (which the hotel had) because then I could stay in touch with back home. They didn't have the right cord, blah blah blah, not an interesting story but it took several days before I had a proper power cord for it. After I got back from my mission to get a power cord, I took in the nightmare that was the hotel room. Awful bed, remote to TV chained to the table (remote didn't even work), towels with blood stains on them (small but still...ewww) and a shower I couldn't work. Thankfully, despite my insomnia issues, the 32 hours of being awake finally hit me and wearing layers to bed (just didn't want any part of my skin to actually touch the bedding!), I crashed out. Day 2 my priority became: find a place to live. With the help of an estate agent who I had been in touch before my arrival, day 2 I did find a house. Unfortunately it wasn't going to be ready for another week but we did the paperwork to get it going. So THEN my priority changed to: find a different hotel for the week. I located a hotel that had one more star (and was worth the extra money) but they could only take me in the following day. So I managed one more night in the hotel and finally rearranged the contents of my suitcases so I was much more efficient when I checked into Hotel #2 (which also didn't have a lift) on my 3rd day here. I finally enjoyed my first home-cooked meal thanks to Mel and Simon (and for this I really say thank you!) My last urgent priority became: get a bed bought and scheduled for delivery on moving day. I went to a local furniture store and I bought a double bed which was luxurious and comfortable and scheduled it. I then jumped online (I spent the first month at Starbucks with the laptop for internet usage) and bought two crucial purchases: Swedish memory foam (for the already comfortable bed) but I needed to make sure this bed was an indulgence as sleep was a problem for me and it was just so important for me emotionally for some reason and the 2nd item was a Flavia drinks machine. My first night in the house I curled up in my new bed (with soft bedding I had also purchased), my hot water bottle filled and watched The Mummy on my laptop (had brought a few movies with me). That first week living in the house the boiler broke (so no heat but more importantly no hot water for several days until it was replaced), I shopped (Ikea) and tried to start meeting people and making connections. Once that was all done, it was time to start my job!

It's been a really rich year full of just life experiences! I started my job, which I had a feeling would not be long-term, and did that for 6 months. I got to know the area with covering my sales territory and enjoyed the freedom of the car. I started making some great friends (thanks to Lesley for inviting me to a comedy night in Manchester from which I started to make friends with more and more folks). I was proactive in making friends and found the people so welcoming. Their support and growing friendship has been the high point of this first year. I also caught up with old friends (Allie, Tonia and Mahmuda). Thanks to technology (IM, Skype, Facebook) I was able to keep in close and regular contact with loved ones which was such a blessing. Other highlights (or low lights depending how you look at it): I was laid off from my job, got to go to Budapest, visited Dumfries, had a few parties and so much more! But I've learned so many deeper lessons: patience, living in the day, acceptance, the value of contrary action, trusting in the universe...and many more.

So now a year on, I have no regrets about moving here (I have never had one actually even when facing obstacles here). Change is in the air (I hope) as I continue to look for jobs and a career I can once again thrive in. I'm outgrowing this house, not in size and function but in location, decor and the outside space (and the Stairs of Doom - where I fall down the stairs and Abby seems to fall going UP them!) I'm broadening my search criteria to include places which would require me to uproot once again, but that feels like the right thing to do (Scotland? Yorkshire? Who knows?) I'm so grateful Abby is with me, she is the one steadying thing day to day no matter what. She doesn't seem older to me and is adored by all (okay - most) who meet her. I am looking forward to things too: a trip down south (finally!) soon to see all my old friends, DMB concert end of July (only about 90 minutes from here via train!) a visit from Mom and Shannon in September and another trip to Dumfries in October.

I wonder what I will write a year from now, after I've completed my second year in the UK! Time will tell....

A Nice Day Out

2009-04-03T17:07:00.016+01:00

Hopefully if any of you are facing looking for work and so having a lot of time on your hands, you will have a dear friend who also works shift patterns and is thus available for the occasional "play-date" during the week! My friend Lovely Lucie took me (and Abby) out to the Derbyshire hills for a proper English cream tea (tea, fresh scones, butter, jam and clotted cream) in a beautiful tea room in a village called Charlesworth. We had hoped to sit outside but they weren't quite set up for that, but we had gorgeous views of the rolling hillsides and we simply put Abby out in the garden where she kept a watchful eye on us!

This is a guest house as well. The conservatory on the back is where we had tea.

Mmmmmmm.

She was soooooo good watching and waiting.

About to dig into our scones!

Yep, she's still waiting - love all those hills and fields in the background.

Toilet was outside and I lapsed into American tourist-mode, "Oh my god, it's just so quaint!"

Went for a stroll along the little lane.

B-day Revelry

2009-04-01T12:47:00.004+01:00

Enjoyed a weekend of fun and relaxation - lots of lovely birthday wishes and prezzies - I am so blessed!

Clockwise: Me, Lesley, Paula and Lucie at Tampopo's for dinner.

Coffee and cake at Cafe Nero's. Clockwise: me, Jean, Shaun, Sinead, an unusally butch-looking Lucie, Mary, Christine and Jill.

Unforseen (& largely negative) Side Effects of Turning Nocturnal

2009-03-28T15:34:00.005Z

For those of you who chat/IM with me, or just see my regular status changes in Facebook, you know I've been trying to roll with my insomnia as well as possible. The latest "rolling" has meant I stay up most of the night watching "tv" on my laptop - lots of things I've downloaded from iTunes. Then when I'm very sure I'll sleep, I go to bed. Doing this I stay up to date with shows in the states and try out new shows (to me) that I'd never tried before. I've noticed, however, that while I'm generally less stressed about the insomnia with this new perspective, there are some distinct drawbacks and here are some of them, in no particular order:

Cost - staying up for hours at night, in bed with my laptop watching TV means I buy the shows I'm watching. And while Santa and my family gave me lots of iTunes gift cards for Christmas and more for my birthday, I go through that credit balance fast! But so far I don't regret anything I've purchased!

Medical attention needed (and this could also become an issue of cost too) - I need to see a chiropractor! While leaning up against pillows looking at my laptop for hours doesn't bother me at the time, the next morning I'm woken up by really acute lower back pain and a very uncomfortable neck-ache. Last night I tried to do stretching before I finally eased into the horizontal position to sleep, but that and regular ibuprofen haven't so far changed the morning (actually afternoon by the time I wake up) aches.

Puffy eyes - this is a result of how emotional I get the later it gets. I find I might burst into tears much more easily in the wee hours of the morning than I normally would. Thus I wake up with puffy eyes.

Facebook - as a result of the growing emotional wobbliness that seems to increase with each hour that I'm up, I will post status changes on Facebook that reflect this. It's a bit embarrassing to see it later and think "Wow, I thought I was being deep, but it comes across as a bit self-indulgent".

UNproductivity - even though I'm sleeping once I'm asleep, even if that doesn't occur until 5, 6 or 7am, I am still waking up tired and groggy and find it a challenge to be productive. The hours one would normally be productive seem to be reallocated to hours in bed watching tv.

TV addict? This is the first time that I've started to see how people can "escape" in TV. I have always loved TV but watching 5 or 6 episodes of The Closer in a row, and feeling a part of their world is showing me that there is some escapism going on there. Thankfully I've only got 6 more episodes to watch to catch up to the current season, so I'll have to either let go of the escapism or find another world (any ideas?)

Weight gain! Not just because of the rather sedentary nature of this, but because I get up and get snacks every couple of hours (with Abby always following close behind in case I drop a peanut, pretzel, noodle, toast...so many snacks!)

I'm hoping that none of this is long-term, but rather just a temporary experience. Insomnia I've experienced on and off for a while, but hopefully once I'm in a job where my day has to be restructured AND I'm naturally tired after working all day, this will fall away.

I Don't Get It - Part IV

2009-03-18T12:34:00.005Z

Since when was this necessary?

Barry Manilow (or Barely ManEnough as I like to call him), one of the most prolific songwriters has launched into singing greatest hits of eras? To my shock and horror, I just saw a TV ad promoting the Greatest Songs of the 80's, where Barry is actually singing classic 80's anthems such as "Open Arms", "I Just Called to Say I Love You" and even "Islands in the Stream!" - what in the WORLD? Is he like Michael Jackson and hurting for money?

This is what you will enjoy...

"Barry Manilow now unveils his latest compilation: "The Greatest Songs of the 80's" adding his own unique flare to these all-time great classic songs. He breathes new life and vitality into these truly wonderful songs, bringing the great songs of a great era to a new generation."

By the way, he's also done the same for the 50's, 60's and 70's. EEK!

Signs of Spring!

2009-03-07T11:40:00.010Z

Having made it through what was apparently the coldest winter in 10 years (wasn't really all that bad, if you ask me), I definitely noticed differences as I walked Abby the other morning (sunny morning!) and clearly they were signs of the seasons once again changing:

Buds have started to form on once bare tree limbs.

Crocuses popping up here, there and everywhere.

Easter Bunnies start to appear in pots outside front doors.

Breaking out the shades - okay they weren't really needed but you never know - it could happen!

Freshly planted planters ready to bloom.

This has nothing to do with Spring, but maybe "Shwing!" I crack myself up, really I do.

What's the Deal with Cooking Shows?

2009-02-18T10:40:00.012Z

If you think I'm about to blog about cooking shows being lame or turning the channel when they're on, you'd be wrong! Those of you who know me know there are some key shows I do get into big time and those same people know I don't even cook!

Vegetarian for 20 years but hardly into (vegetarian) cooking, I admit to eating a lot of processed food (Amy's Organic lines etc) or things like cheese and pretzels (I said I'm vegetarian, not vegan before any of you try to correct me!) Yet I find there are a few shows which absolutely hold my attention and make me keep coming back (or record for future viewing with the thanks to technology). But note, I'm not talking about Emeril Lagosi shows, I'm not into the "...and here's one I prepared earlier..." type shows - but ones with narration, suspense and excellent photography so you really get a sense of the food.

Here are my top shows (in order of preference):

1. Top Chef - this is my favorite. Hands down. I'm fascinated by these experts and their skills, their personalities and the challenges the contestants (professional chefs in their own lives) do. It is not an overly dramatic show (in terms of drama within the personalities) but rather focuses on them as chefs and how they perform. a Bravo show (Watch What Happens!) the chefs, I believe it starts with 16 a season, always have 2 distinct tasks in each episode. One is a Quickfire challenge, often with either immunity from elimination or a leg up on the next challenge as the reward for winning. I get a kick out of these, these seem really hard. It's like going for a job interview and the interviewer says, "Sell me this pen" except he hands you a ruler instead. It's that kind of difficulty! And sometimes the product placement is so blatant that you have to kind of say "Bravo!" (no pun intended) because why hide it, instead show 2 dozen shots of Diet Dr Pepper when you're doing the Quickfire challenge regarding Superbowl. Immediately after that, it's time for the elimination challenge and these are hard core.

They have their normal panel of judges (oh Tom Cilicchio - hubba hubba hubba), Padma (she's hot too, I can admit that and also the ex-wife of Salmon Rushdie) and the new British guy Toby Young. They usually have a guest judge who is a big name in culinary circles and has a new book to advertise! Thanks to iTunes, I've been able to keep up to date with this show, and the finale is coming up. Oh and by the way, I wouldn't eat most of the things they cook, but I LOVE hearing about them, watching the ingredients and dishes I've never heard of (ceviche is made all the time, note to self: wikipedia that again, I can't seem to remember!) and the plating is art itself. I give two thumbs and eight fingers up (meaning I'm ALLLLLL for this show!)

Iron Chef (the original, NOT the American one) - This one is just fascination combined with comedy. Watching a chef (contestant) go up against one of the fierce and mighty Iron Chefs (pronounced Ironnnn Chef-Ahh) who does Chinese, French or Japanese cuisine PLUS a main ingredient - all to cook several courses in one hour is a trip! What's the comedy you ask? So hard to explain it but if you've ever seen Godzilla and how it's dubbed in English...well that's how it is. It is a genuine Japanese cooking contest show but we hear it 100% dubbed in English. And the actors obviously emulate the passion and inferences the original participants had. Their host is such a Queen! With big hair and such theatrics (and not a little make up), he's also hilarious. By the way, the main ingredient, the "mystery" ingredient is never anything I've ever eaten or seen. They eat all sorts of things over there - I am impressed by it but most of the dishes look gross to me, but the entire experience is good fun.

MasterChef - this is a new find. It's been on here on BBC since 1990 but I never watched it in my first life in England, who could stand Lloyd Grossman, after all. But I've gotten into it this time 'round, thanks largely to the BBC iPlayer - so I can download them and watch them all at once. It's kind of like Top Chef but only amateur cooks, who've NEVER cooked for a wage or in a kitchen and are hoping to make career changes and cook for a living. It's just 1/2 hour and easy to watch. They whittle down the contestants from 6 down to 1 (from 6 to 3 then to 1) each show. They have an "invention" test which is where they have to create a dish in 50 minutes from ingredients randomly chosen - this gets contestants from 6 to 3. Then they have the "pressure" test which is working in a restaurant for a shift (and often really high end, posh places in London). This, as far as I can see, doesn't seem to really have an effect on the final judging but it's fun to see how they each cope with the fast pace, high standards and surprisingly restrained (and sober) chefs (you know they're soooooo much harder on their regular staff). The next day these same 3 get an hour and 10 minutes (I think) to cook a 2 course meal of their own design. The judges aren't that interesting, though they're very positive and honest with the dishes. I always fast forward through their deliberations (yawn). So this is Mon-Thurs, bringing about 1 person each show who gets through to the next round. The next round (which also is on Thursday) is kind of like the entire thing all over again but they have to do two consecutive shifts (an 18 hour day) in 2 restaurants. These 4 get narrowed down to 3 by (I think) a lame test of their palettes or somehow having to "sell" their passion and skills verbally to the judges. These are not all A-type personalities, they come from all walks of life, I feel for them being so close to the cook-off but getting eliminated after this weird process. Finally, they do a 3 course meal. And this brings about 1 winner who then goes on to the semi-final. Lather, rinse and repeat. I haven't finished the current season, I believe we're about to see the semis. But I download them and Thursday night watch them all in a row on my laptop (which is why Thursdays have now been dubbed "Masterchef Thurdays").

Hell's Kitchen - okay, I'm not a serious fan of this show (I wouldn't pay for it and download it) but it has been entertainment for sure when I've watched it. The chefs cook the same thing every night in Hell's Kitchen (pea risotto doens't come across well on camera, I must say) but of course Gordon Ramsay makes the show watchable (in the UK it's called "The F Word" because that's every other word out of his mouth), in the States, the same show has a LOT of bleeping!

I wanted to have a top 5 list, but I'm done, can't get past 4. I don't like Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (same story, different restaurant every single show) nor any other show that comes to mind. But I'm open so if, after reading what I like about these, you have any to suggest - please do let me know!

I Don't Get It - Part III

2009-02-14T12:20:00.003Z

If window displays are designed to entice people to come into your store to see more, then...?

(Notice the date on wall calendar, which is barely visible as this is so sun-bleached from being in the window for what I suspect is over 7 years!)

Even Garbage Day is Civilized in England

2009-02-11T10:22:00.009Z

A couple months ago, I came home to find a thick roll of garbage bags at my door step, they were light blue and slightly transparent. I didn't think much of them (so I left them by the door for a week or two). Then one garbage day (Wednesdays here, though I normally put the garbage out the night before), I noticed many of the bags my neighbors had put out were actually light blue...and slightly translucent. "oooohhhh", I realized that the city was providing us with FREE garbage bags! And can I tell you they are really strong and durable! I mean, the local critters (foxes or cats) can still gnaw into them if your lodger happens to throw out chicken bones barely wrapped up into the bin - in that case the bags are no defense, but otherwise I'm really pleased with them (side note: why is it I create so much garbage? If the family next door only has one bag a week and I have 3...well clearly I really am using way too many paper towels or something). Anyway, logistically they are very organized here. On the morning of garbage day ("rubbish collection" we call it here), there's a team that come before the actual garbage truck to collate all the single bags into one big pile. Just a couple guys who walk down the street. Then the 2nd squadron come with the truck - what's so great about this plan is the truck is only blocking these narrow streets for a short period of time as all the rubbish is in one place and doesn't have to make numerous little stops.

But none of these awesome things make garbage collection here really civilized...BUT what does is...yesterday I was walking Abby in the morning (it was Wednesday morning, the aforementioned rubbish collection day for my neighborhood) and I knew there was a garbage truck in the neighborhood (they are not nearly as big as the ones you see in Los Angeles or any of the sprawling US suburbs)...but you know how I knew it was nearby and coming down the street? Because on this loudspeaker, it said (imagine a poshish accent)..."Attention, this vehicle is reversing...Attention, this vehicle is reversing." Just cracked me up. I'm still giggling. It's the little things like this that strike me funny having lived here before and now this time. I'm used to the big differences (notice my spelling is still American when it comes to my blog - spelling is actually quite different), but to not have an ear-piercing high pitch "beeeeep beeeeep" but instead a rather distinguished male voice letting me know that that vehicle is "reversing" - well "backing up" has never sounded so gentlemanly!

Another thing that makes me smile every time....

2009-02-10T21:12:00.001Z

After Abby's finished with her nightly rawhide, she starts off rolling on the rug but ends up showing it who's boss. For Abby lovers, watch to the end as there's a sweet close-up of her face at the end.

I've Heard Paris has this Issue too

2009-02-09T14:28:00.003Z

Dog poop! It's considered that the British love their dogs, and from what I see this is true. However, I'm perplexed by the lack of commitment to cleaning up after their beloved dogs. And I'm not only talking about in parks (where kids run and play...hellooooo dogowners?) but on the cement, on the walkways, ON THE SIDEWALKS! Seriously! How little do you know your dog to not expect them to need to potty and so not bring anything to clean up after them? It's friggin' everywhere! I walk to the shops in Edgeley (5-10 minutes) and every 3 or 4 houses there's a big dump on the sidewalk. What's worse is sometimes you see evidence of someone having walked through it - I see that very often too (sidenote: how is it dogs avoid walking in poop - even when they're running and chasing - I mean they have 4 feet - twice as likely as we are - but still nothing). What makes this more frustrating to me is that we can get FREE poopbags! Yes that's right! The city of Stockport provides free poopbags, just pop into your library branch and you get stashes of them. And they're good quality. But if some petowners can't be bothered to take a basic plastic grocery bag with them when they walk their dogs, I guess I can't expect them to actually go into a library and get some, that would be way too responsible. Rant over, I just watch everywhere I walk and am also thankful to Stockport for my poopbags.

All in the Family

2009-02-06T17:29:00.010Z

My sister, brother in law and niece just enjoyed a cruise with their favorite band, BNL (Barenaked Ladies) for the second consecutive year (and can I say I'm very proud of all the pics she got of her and the bank members!). She posted pics and updates on Facebook (and will probably do more on their own BLOG) but this picture of her absolutely laughing her head off struck me as familiar as I too was laughing my head off (in that "not so pretty" laugh kind of a way just a few weeks ago) when Mahmuda was here...anyone else see the similarities?

In other family news, congrats to the Kaufmans for their gorgeous new edition to their seemingly never-ending expanding family, Owen Michael! Yay!

Something that makes me smile every time...

2009-01-31T14:14:00.002Z

Facebook vs. Blogging

2009-01-28T22:17:00.014Z

I feel for Blogger, I really do. It sees a lot less action from me than it used to and I wonder if I'm just a sampling of what is happening out there in "blogspot" space. At the moment neither costs anything (which would be a significant factor) but now that I am on Facebook (all the time, it seems), I thought I might think about the advantages and disadvantages between the two:

Facebook over Blogging:

First of all, any blog entry here (I am writing this one on blogger.com) is automatically uploaded to Facebook under my "Notes" (it's optional but I chose "yes") with all the photos! And since most of the people who read my blog (that I'm aware of) are on Facebook (except the Kaufmans it seems), I'm just as likely to reach as many people if I were to write an update (essentially a blog entry like this) on Facebook.

Facebook lets me become a "fan" of lots of groups. Right now I am a member of such awe-inspiring groups as: Addicted to Survivor, I Get All My "Important" News from PerezHilton.com, My Bookie Wookie and Starky for Senate 2010 while I am also a fan of Burn Notice and of course The Dave Matthews Band.

Facebook has security options, for instance I can limit who can read my info on Facebook to those I have approved of as "Friends", of which I have 86 at the moment and YES, I know all of them, even if I haven't seen 1/4 of them since high school graduation (God that was such a crappy night, but that's another story), I can even allow my "friend's 'friends'" to view it too, in case I may know them and then they can become MY "friends" too. Simple I know!

Facebook means I feel connected to (at this moment 86) people in a larger sense of community. I love "status updates", being able to "tag" and be "tagged" in photos and for those of you who know me, I love feeling a part of a group and that's what Facebook does (blogging is a lonely existence) and I can kind of get a gist of what people are doing and how they are.

Facebook also means I can comment and receive comments in ongoing threads so there's 2-way communication back and forth.

In Facebook, people request friendship, that doesn't happen in blog world (or the real world, come to think of it).

Facebook advertisements remind me there are rich, handsome men available out there if I only click on the website link on the right (which I haven't but somehow it feels Facebook cares about me as a single woman interested in men and not targeted marketing like it looks like on the surface).

Facebook lets you do all of this while carrying on instant message conversations on the same page, with multiple people even (though one downside is the annoying error messages that seem to come in rashes).

Note: for those of you who have heard things about Facebook and ask, "But what about your information being out there? What about your privacy? What about Big Brother?" well then clearly you've not actually seen the name of my blog which I so smartly chose several years ago (yeah, kind of wish I hadn't named it EXACTLY after myself but oh well!) so I guess I'm not overly worried about my name and info being "out there" - but people, please don't abuse it and if you hear of anyone who has or is going to, I'll reward you well if you let me know!

Blogging over Facebook:

Comparing Blogger to Facebook, I guess the main advantage of blogging would be...it's ALL ABOUT ME...and that is a pretty significant benefit! So for now, I'll keep 'em both going but have to go right now to see who's online on Facebook and if anyone else has posted the list currently sweeping the Facebook world "25 Random Things"...hope so!

Latest Trends

2009-01-20T14:58:00.010Z

Lately I'm into:

Burn Notice - love Bruce Campbell in it!
Vegetarian Sausage Rolls from the local baker/pie shop - I often stop by and get one, just 90p, when taking Abby out for her walk.
Project Runway Season 5 (just started here on normal TV)
Facebook (who isn't?)
The Daily Puppy (check out Apollo!)
Dark gray eye shadow (just on the main lid, not up the eyebrow, thank you very much!)
Letting Abby off leash at the local park - I've found where I feel safe letting her off (see pics in previous post and below).
Sugar-free Red Bull.

I'm not into:

My dryer (ties everything into knots, I swear!)
My backyard (it's like one big kitty litter box because of the little gravel)
Wolf Blitzer (The Situation Room should be renamed The Bloody Annoying Room)
Skype (I pay monthly to have these local phone numbers, as in a Los Angeles one) but I just don't seem to use it - I'm just not a phone person whether it's long distance or local.
Sleeping - and by "not into it" I mean, I still get insomnia pretty often and it SUCKS.
Blogging as much as I used to - probably because I'm so into Facebook!

When I took Abby out today to the neighboring park and let her off leash, she found (of course) the pack of dogs surrounding the man feeding them treats. I used to get so annoyed at dog parks by this, but it doesn't happen often here and it's kind of cute. She got right up to the front of the pack and sat like the good girl she is and waited patiently with her eyes, searching...always searching...to get some treats.

All that waiting paid off as she was rewarded a couple of times and chomped away. Then she did her happy skip as she came running after me (once she'd confirmed treats were truly gone).

Mahmuda visits Manchester!

2009-01-19T12:19:00.027Z

Mahmuda and I have been friends since 1993 or so when we were in Bournemouth. We met through Allie, who had gotten to know Mahmuda at a local college. We got on right away! Even then Allie towered over us with her height and the heels she'd always wear - not a lot has changed that way! In those days we seemed to be into dancing, boys and...did I mention boys? I mean we were 22, into "self-help" and very serious about everything...except when we were laughing our heads off, which we did much of the time. Her in her bedsit, me staying at Tonia's, we'd meet and go clubbing, only to leave at 11:30 when it got too busy to settle in on the sofa with a cup of tea and more chat. The three of us enjoyed meeting for salad at what to become later Pizza Hut but at the time had a really nice salad bar (we often had coupons) and at the Legend Cafe which was newly opened at the time. Lamenting about our latest drama with boys (I suppose they were men but boys seems more fitting looking back!) and always finding the humour in things while having coffees, we forged bonds that I knew would last a lifetime - and I was right! Eventually Allie moved (her adventure was to be in Egypt), Mahmuda returned to Zurich and I eventually went home to America. But always staying in touch both literally and somehow in the heart (as I believe it is with soul sisters), we stayed close. Mahmuda actually visited LA a couple times and as predicted, we clicked like no time had passed. This weekend was the first time that Mahmuda, Allie and I were reunited as a group and it was like old days, though we spoke much more about plastic surgery and aging (and being okay with it) than we did men! Yay for growth! :D

Mahmuda arrived Thursday. I met her at the airport as a hired driver would with a sign. Being a fan of all things Hollywood, I knew she'd get the joke (as the sign read "Kim Kardashian"). We headed to Stockport (2 trains and 1 taxi) and after settling her in and having tea and crumpets, we headed to Stockport. We just did a bit of wandering around, had to go to Boots you know! And then we met with Lucie for a coffee and chat. Mahmuda is a very glamorous and dramatic looking woman but you spend 30 seconds with her, you find the warmest, funniest and most sensitive soul. I went to the loo and came back and she and Lucie had progressed into deep, deep discussions with complete ease. Thursday night we relaxed in front of the television enjoying E! channel (who knew I could enjoy it so much more with someone else, but I think it's because it's Mahmuda) as we perfected our impression of Kendra from "Girls of the Playboy Mansion" whose fake laugh is like a cheese grater - argh! I cooked some dinner and we had an early night.

Posing with the sign I made for her at the airport.

Friday we were in no rush, our only plan was to head into Manchester. Because her visit was short and because we didn't have a car, we just kept our plans to hanging out and seeing a bit of the city (as she'd never been up north). I frequently broke into the show theme to Coronation Street. Very distinct and always made us laugh. Anyway, we were barely tourists, we were mainly ladies who shopped and did coffee. We stopped at a cafe where she began to teach me the art of doing the "Roman" pose, named after a total poser she knows who had taught her the very, VERY serious work of getting the right pose for photos (he was a model apparently). As I told my sister on Facebook, "To do the Roman, you must calm yourself and look away intently from the camera and settle your mind and face. Then when the person taking the photographs says so, simply turn your head without changing your expression. According to someone named Roman (who we may just slightly be making fun of - don't worry, he deserves it), this is the best way to capture a photo (if you're a wannabe model). If one can happen to rest one's chin on one's hand at the completion of the Roman, then it's even better. Mahmuda has perfected it, I am only a novice." Either way, there were a couple people at the table next to us who just kept looking over with disdain and tsk tsk'ing so actually moved over a couple tables. Sheesh! We managed to find and take pics of the cathedral and the Ferris Wheel but not a lot else!

We did some fair shopping (by we I mean she), and she found some rocking shoes at River Island! I know what it's like, when I go home to the states, I'm always on the lookout for that buy, not necessarily a bargain, but something that is different from what I can get back home. We went on to several other stores and I seemed to develop a thing for trying on hats or weird head gear and taking pics. At a store called Accessorize (they sell only accessories, imagine!), I asked the sales assistant to take a pic for us and she told us it wasn't allowed (um, store secrets? just a bad attitude? who knows), so I took a picture of her. HAH! That showed her! We weren't exactly "lunching ladies" as we had our lunch at the mall food court, she had KFC, I had McDonalds (veggie burger). We browsed M&S and several other places. As you may know, shopping (even as efficiently as Mahmuda does it) is tiring so we started to wear out. Mahmuda treated us to a Chinese massage, it was at a store in the mall where you sit in the chairs (in the lobby area) and get a massage. Relaxed and hungry, we went to Wagamama and had a delicious meal! Then after another visit to Boots (where there was an unfortunate breaking and spilling of Fuchsia nail varnish) we headed home on the train to be greeted by RAIN! It had been clear all day but no longer. We grabbed a taxi and home we drove. We had been quoting Zoolander much of the day, "There's more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good-looking" so I found the DVD for just 3 pounds and our plan was to watch that. In the end we were too pooped!

If only we had a wedding to go to with these hats!

Mahmuda gets some history at the cathedral.

Mahmuda and my iPhone, just a little video.

Saturday was again, not an early start and we headed back into Manchester. Our main plan was to meet Allie for lunch which we did. We started off at Pizza Hut (paying homage to our past salads all those years ago), but there were, let us say, issues. Crying babies, well that's no one's fault. But when a mother was at the salad bar and her little son wanted to help, witnessing the boy's little hand go into the bacon bits (only for his Mom to order him to drop them) and he would drop them back into the container, same with the sweetcorn, that we decided to go elsewhere. So we went to Pizza Express by Printworks which was much more me (kind of like California Pizza Kitchen - a chain but with a certain level of cleanliness and quality). We caught up like nobody's business! Lunch was very tasty and after all that new energy from the fab food, we trekked to the big goal of the day: Selfridges. Well I've never been there and can I say I thought it was crap? Yeah, that's right, I'll say it. Overpriced, quality didn't seem great, shop assistants not exactly helpful and just a total overwhelming sense of "style over substance." I was almost offended that a simple hair clip could cost 85 pounds. Of course, my nose was bent out of joint when I was stopped by one of the shop assistants for taking a picture (with my iphone, how did she know?) but I think it's because I dared to stick a hair extension in my hair for fun (it was her department you see). Anyway, Allie bought a ring and so paid 3 pounds to market the store (their little bags are bright yellow!) A few more shops and then a final stop for coffee. I wished Allie lived closer to me so we could all easily hang out all evening but being out in the shops etc., had tired us all out. After huge hugs and promises to visit Mahmuda in Zurich we headed back to Stockport, and boy did it start raining! It had been gorgeously clear all day but boy, we needed the hoods on our coats. But we also needed to hold them in place on our heads because of the gail force winds!

After lunch photos!

Allie in her glam coat (she had a bag to match - love it!)

While we had had a lovely invitation to go Paula's for some chili and fellowship with some friends, we were just really worn out and quite content to get pjs on and Zoolander in! I made a vegetarian roast dinner and we had such a laugh and were taking turns on my laptop updating Facebook with our photos and experiences of the trip!

I think this may be my big break, it's all about the hair pieces. Though the shop assistant told me off.

So when the shop assistant's back was turned, we pouted it up a bit more.

Sadly she departed early Sunday morning after a much too short visit. She had successfuly packed all her loot into the same bag she had arrived with! Damn, this girl is a total pro! She generously offered to take care of me if I were able to get to Zurich. If I were able to take a cheap flight to stay with her, she'd be my sugar momma! I really appreciated that offer, I remember from my one trip to Zurich it is expensive! Who knows, maybe I'll do just that or if I get some birthday money. Obviously right now I have different priorities and I still have the post-visit glow! Thanks Mahmuda for visiting and for being you - see you on Facebook!!!