When I grow up I want to be Dalton Ross

When I grow up I want to be Dalton Ross. I know you're scratching your head in confusion firstly because you're wondering if I'm actually a very mature looking 17 year old with my whole life ahead of me. Answer: no, I am still late 30's with only half my life ahead of me.  Or maybe you've quickly tried to Google "Dalton Ross" or even checked Wikipedia (he doesn't have his own entry, sacrilege)!

Let me clarify my statement by saying I don't want to be him, I just want to be in his job. I want to do what he does.

At a company I worked at several years ago, I found a few others who had a passion for Survivor. Then I found a few more who liked a good wager. And voila, we had our own Pictage Survivor Pool! It was dead easy, 18 survivors, 18 employees paying in $5, one winner takes all. Incidentally, this spawned an Amazing Race Pool which was much more detailed with employees choosing 3 teams and an accruing point system to win the whole lot. Who says I can't crunch numbers? Anyway, my favorite part of the Survivor Pool was writing my own recaps of the previous night's Survivor episodes. I included what happened, my take on what happened and evidently they were quite entertaining (some folks asked to be on my weekly recap email distribution list, even though they didn't even watch the show) and that is exactly what Dalton Ross does. Plus the dude is funny. Oh and when I say that is "exactly" what Dalton Ross does, I should clarify. Dalton gets paid, certainly has Jeff Probt's cell number, gets to interview the voted out Survivors oh and he ALSO gets sent (and paid, did I mention PAID) to visit the Survivor camps before filming starts to meet the survivors. His videos and commentary are all on the Entertainment Weekly site. However, to be fair (to me) what he doesn't do that I did is take still shots from the show and add funny captions. Nope, that was alllll me. Ideally, I'd maybe even hang out with him at the office most mornings where we could dissect the latest reality TV carnage from the night before. And since there's only one Dalton Ross job, we would each go to a parallel universe to write his recaps. 

(Season finales would often find little Survivor gifts on the pool participants' desks the next morning. Here's one of the favs which we all got the season of Men vs Women from the Survivor Elf)

Dalton's recaps of Survivor make me laugh out loud, he notices the little things I notice, loves the game and loves to dissect it, all while making me smile with his self-deprecating humor.  I don't want to paint Dalton as a one note-guy because oh no, that's not all he writes about. He writes about anything I might also write about including movies and TV (reality TV seems to be his preference and again, I'm thinking "ME TOO"!) Further, he has recently been on some of the morning shows (CBS This Morning etc) and I now follow him on Twitter, you can too by clicking here.

 
Not only is he funny in writing, he's funny in video. During several seasons of Survivor he did Survivor Talk, the day after someone was voted off which could be watched on the Entertainment Weekly website. From the videos, it looks like he has an actual office (in NYC I think), which tells me he works for an actual company and gets paid and actual check. 

By the way, Jeff Probst also writes a funny and insightful blog every week after Survivor airs, but let's be clear, I don't want his job, I want Dalton's! Oh and I follow Jeff on Twitter too. Come to think of it, Survivor is a major theme re: who I follow on Twitter...Ethan Zohn, Jenna Morasca...yes, indeed, there is a pattern.

To recap (haha, thank you, I'll be here all night), I have found what I'm meant to be doing: watching TV and getting paid to write about it. Where can I get that gig?

Big Country Living

Calling Britain a "big country" is like calling Lady Gaga self-conscious. However, as I took Abby for a walk on this cool, soon-to-be-spring evening, through farms and country lanes, lyrics came to mind (maybe because it came on while I was listening to my iPod?):

I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert,
But I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime..
And in a big country, dreams stay with you,
Like a lover's voice, fires the mountainside..
Stay alive..

Whatever happened to them? Oh yeah, tragedy. Okay, moving along...

I live in Ringwood, Hampshire and have enjoyed it since the day I moved here almost a year ago. Within a mile there is a highway (called a dual-carriageway), the New Forest, small lakes, shops, cafes, farms, good pubs, a growing circle of friends. What's more, it's just a 20 minute drive to Bournemouth. Taking Abby for a walk tonight reminded me how rural(ish) life really suits me! How so, you ask? Well for starters...

1. Local Architecture

I enjoy looking at all the different homes as I walk Abby. The area isn't that built up and houses do differ here from road to road. Mom and I used to enjoy looking at the lovely homes in Redondo Beach (I still maintain that how people light their homes is truly indicative of their mental state: recessed lighting = happy, fluorescent strip lighting = serial killer) and so it's only natural I would continue to enjoy regarding all the homes here.

As lovely as cottages are, with thatched roofs and all, I don't actually think I'd choose to live in one (if I had the freedom to choose a dream house, that is). For me, cottages can be so dark and cramped. Picturesque from the outside, a tad claustrophobic on the inside.

2. Doing the Shuffle

99.9% of the time I'm on my iPhone while walking (phone calls, audio books or music). Some of the areas I walk Abby are kind of secluded.  So I've been known to break out in dance (well known just to me, so does it still count, I wonder?). I do it suddenly and scare the begeezuz out of Abby but she soon gets used to it (and tries to stay out of the way of my awesome moves). How can you not when Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again" or Chubb Rock's "Treat'em Right" start playing? Tonight I was grooving to the Glee soundtrack (is it me or is the arrangement of Artie's rendition of "Dancing with Myself" pretty dang awesome?)

 Locals are friendly, too.

3. Name...that...House!

No matter what sized home, it seems that people in the country like to give their homes proper names. Just to be clear, you can name your house pretty much anything you want! Note: I don't think you should be allowed to call your home "Oak Cottage" when it's made of brick. I'm just saying). A name doesn't take the place of your actual address (satellite navigation doesn't care if you punch in "Countess Cottage, Ringwood") but yet, it seems to be the thing to do. So during my big, country walks, I get to brainstorm house names for myself! Since Valhalla (as in Val-holler!!!!!) is taken (see above pic), I'm considering Abigail-Tan Manor. The pic above is just a few of the name signs I saw just this evening alone! 

Abby is my constant companion, she's the reason I often go for walks but some days I think I benefit even more then she does. A few times a week I take her on off-leash walks out in the country and most of those wide open spaces are just 5-10 minutes in the car. Gone are the days of dog parks (with Starbucks in hand) of our life in Los Angeles, but if Abby could understand and communicate (Rich maintains she can), she'd say she loves living in the big, open country too. So this evening, with cup of tea in hand, I say 'thank you' to my big country and see you tomorrow on another walk!