Valerie Tanswell

Just trying to get my head around the fact that tomorrow is my last day at Pictage. It’s been such an integral part of my life for the last 2 years. Getting that job just a few months post op really made a difference to me. I love the people there with really just 2 exceptions! I feel like I fostered such good relationships with so many in so many departments and their smiling faces and jokes that I get to enjoy daily…those are all coming to an end. I imagine coming home from work tomorrow feeling a bit directionless and lonely. Sad and lost. Having a party on Saturday where many guests will be from work helps with the finality, but somehow I feel like happy hour would be in order tomorrow. I don’t really want to ask other people to go out with me for my own happy hour – especially with a party on Saturday (which is my birthday get together I guess). Plus there’s a lot to do to get stuff ready for Saturday’s shin-dig.

This new job is exciting for me, I am really not sure what to expect for the first few weeks. I have a training schedule but it involves a lot of “ride-alongs” with other sales reps and I can’t quite picture those yet either. I trust that the camaraderie I enjoyed at Pictage was not a fluke or accident but something I was able to create and therefore can hopefully create in the new place. I won’t be in the office daily 9-5 and will eventually only be in once a week, I still believe I can build connections with others. That is so much of what makes me tick and what leaves me feeling satisfied. I’m a people person, what can I say?

So tonight I am grateful. Grateful for the warm birthday wishes I had, the beautiful flowers Kelly put on my desk before I got in, the lovely gifts and shout outs I’ve had today. I’m excited for the future, my games party on Saturday. I’m sad about saying goodbye to so many people tomorrow – the employees but also all the photographers I know through my job. And lastly I feel sleepy. I believe things work out. They may not be pre-ordained (not sure about “fate”) but I believe all of this is for my highest good and even through tears tomorrow, I’ll try to remember that.

Positive interactions with others brighten your day. You enjoy expanding your horizons, and you like being generous. This is an excellent day to meet someone who is supportive and whose appreciation can give you confidence. Excessive pleasure is also possible, and you attract what is easy; lack of motivation may result. When you want to, you provide the best for everyone concerned.

• Damn excessive pleasure – why is that always my Achilles heal?

Having a good time brings everyone together, and you can attract someone who really allows you to shine. It is easier to show your best features so that meeting people is fun and full of opportunities. You enjoy being generous and broadening your horizons to include more rather than less. Success in love is likely now because you are confident of what you have to offer.

• When they say “success in love is likely now”, what do you think they mean by “now”? As in NOW now? Or not quite now? Now soon?

Money:

Partnerships work to your advantage now, and agreements that you reach are usually always in your favor. Being enthusiastic about your work and confident in yourself makes a good impression. You have more influence than usual and can bring clients and associates around to your point of view, although you like pleasing all sides. You value an expanded role in a shared project.

• The expanded role in a shared project must be trying to get the poor person who is taking over my job. It’s a lot to learn!

Hello. Not a lot has happened this weekend but thought I'd post anyway (just to keep you interested). Did shopping for my new job (clothes, shoes etc) and tried not to start thinking I wouldn't be up to snuff - but since I don't even know what that means only that it feels bad to feel like that I certainly tried to stop that stinkin' thinkin' (ode to Stuart Smalley).

Stayed home Friday and Saturday nights and watched movies. Finally saw Brokeback Mountain and I have to say the passion and tenderness got to me. While I found it a bit slow in areas, I definitley had tears...which only started this larger inner drama about love. When will I find it (maybe I should at least be OPEN to it?), will I ever find someone that blah blah blah. I don't even know what half the tears were for, but I was just moved by it, okay? I admit it. As much as I like intense men, I'd still take Jake over Heath. Those eyes. Oh yes.

Went to the dogpark today, Abby's great - she had a lot of fun and so did I.

Tonight was talked into going over to a friend's place (more a friend of a friend) for an impromptu BBQ. Because it was a lazy Sunday (but did I mention I had stayed home Friday and Saturday?) and it was a bit of a hike out there I initially declined but am so glad I was talked into it. Fun was had by all, until the Rottweiler bit me (he thought I was harming his owner though I was only dancing!) and Mike fell into the fire and almost burned off his new tattoos and Timmy gazed at me and shared he didn't know (we had just met that night and I thought become fast friends) if I was a bitch or cool. Riiiight. I guess that planned coffee is off now (I think he meant it in a drunken way of "aren't you sassy?") but I admit it, my feelings were hurt - since when is being sarcastic bitchy? AS IF. Hmmm.

Gave notice yesterday - it went really well. My boss was awesome, sorry to see me go but letting me know if things didn't work out I could just give him a call - which is such a great thing to hear from a boss you're leaving! My last day is 3/31 and the following Monday, I'll begin my new career at Aramark. I'll be working in the Refreshment Services department. I'll need to do some shopping for more clothes as Pictage is wonderfully casual where we can wear jeans every day. I'll need to get some new pants and more business looking blouses/shirts and of course I’ll need shoes to go with all of THAT.

I'm having a birthday get together and this year it's a games night. That's my kind of fun! 20 or so people over, food, drinks and games - what could be better? Though my birthday is on Thursday, 3/30, we'll have the party on Saturday the 1st here at my mom's. Hopefully I'll be able to take lots of pictures!

Class started today. I'm having to retake the class because I actually failed it. I thought I was getting enough stuff done to pass (it's all about passing) but i was short by 3 points and the instructor wouldn't change it. So it cost me and it started today. New instructor, same class. So at least I can submit the work that got me an F last time and do a little bit more on top of that! Anyway, it's five weeks long and today is day 1 so I'll just plod along. Trudging the road of happy destiny, don't ya know?

Happy St. Patrick’s Day to everyone. While I have no Irish heritage I am aware of, there were hordes of “them” down in Venice tonight since every bar, pub or club had a line half-way round the block. One woman with green sparkly shamrocks on her cheeks was overheard saying, “Are there more Irish in Venice now?” As if any of us needed a reason to head out for a night on the town.

But the really important news is I have my offer in hand! So I will give 2 weeks’ notice on Monday and start my new job April 3^rd.

It’s late and I’m too tired to write much more but I am very, very much looking forward to this new chapter beginning – and just a couple days after my 34^th birthday. Oh gosh, I’m now entering “mid-30’s” instead of the early thirties I’ve been enjoying. Next stop, 40. Yikes.

Heard from that company today (the one whose name is a secret until all is signed, sealed, delivered and I’m yours – huh?) Anyway, I have an offer en route via trusty old USPS. Hopefully will have it by Friday so I can give notice. I’d like to do that for my own selfish reasons that I can really feel I’m letting go. God forbid this Aries woman has to wait until Monday! GASP. Until then...I'll just have to try to look busy!

…we are currently circling in a holding pattern and are unsure when exactly we will be allowed to land.

Things sure can change can’t they? No job offer and that specific position is not on the table anymore. The powers that be at this company decided against this position, after all. My would-be manager sounded very disappointed and surprised since she thought this had already been given the green light, which is why I interviewed so many times. It could be that she is a good Sales Manager, but she seemed to genuinely want me on board and thinks I’m a perfect fit for the position. So I guess she’s trying to have a conversation with her GM on whether they can create a territory for me. Which would mean not the long training program but me jumping in at the deep end – but that’ll happen if he sees the territories growing as fast as they hope. She’s also going to talk to other regional offices and see what their needs are. But my first choice would be working for her. She said she doesn’t want to lose me and really wants to move forward with me. So she told me she will call me back as soon as she has more info.

With the last couple days waiting for the phone to ring, I’d kind of reconciled myself for a long wait (or long(ER)) wait and the great news is that I am in a fine position at the moment; gainfully employed and thanks to Mom, not paying rent! And I’m not forbidden to see my babies. Wait, WHAT??? Here’s hoping the Kaufmans feel better soon.

No calls, no job offers and a boring day at the office. . Could be worse, I could have a horrible cold.

No job offer yet…sure hope my online “test” didn’t sabotage something. I mean, I answered the way I thought they wanted me to – isn’t that the point of the tests – to see if you’re smart enough to lie and answer the company line? I thought so. I hope so. So fingers crossed tomorrow will be the “big” day! As I know you are checking in daily (yes, YOU, I know you’re there), I’ll post as soon as I know something new!

Kelly and I did not join a cult this weekend, nor even tried. Instead we had Indian food and then met up with some friends of friends in trendy Santa Monica. Trust me, if I had a picture of us (and how HOT we looked), I’d post it – but alas I didn’t bring the camera. So just use your imagination! But it was so great to be out and about with some really, REALLY nice people – who were also an eclectic bunch. And Kelly’s friend, Nhat, had the devil inside of him at the beginning of the evening – or so he claimed but a few Gin & Tonics seemed to help tame that beast (the devil, not Nhat!)

We have to wait 3 weeks until the next new episode of Survivor? How can college football possibly outwit, outplay or outlast the greatest reality show EVER? Harrumph!

Meanwhile, back at Casa de Tanswell, thank goodness Mom comes home today. Ula intimidates Abby so it’s like I don’t even have my own dog when Mom’s out of town. What can I say? My Abby is a lover, not a fighter. And Ula has a Napoleon Complex is ever there was one. In the event my mother dies before Ula, we need volunteers on who would be willing to take the little monster – oh, I mean, the little love. (j/k Mom – you know I think Ula is a trip!)

Which dog is the beast and which is the beauty:

These 10 questions originally came from a French series, "Bouillon de Culture" hosted by Bernard Pivot. It is probably more familiar to many as the question James Lipton asks at the end of "Inside the Actor's Studio."

I've found these questions interesting among friends. It's amazing what the simple answers to these questions reveal about a person's thoughts, feelings and beliefs. Please comment with your own!

01. What is your favorite word?

Riiiiiiight (as in Dr. Evil)

02. What is your least favorite word?

Assistant

03. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

HGTV and the high-end design shows – I just LOVE that stuff!

04. What turns you off?

Being lectured

05. What is your favorite curse word?

Bugger.

06. What sound or noise do you love?

Rain, rain, rain.

07. What sound or noise do you hate?

Slamming doors.

08. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Designer.

09. What profession would you not like to do?

Accountant.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Next time ‘round, don’t be so hard on yourself.